#33: Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

In this week’s episode, we are thrilled to have a special guest with us - our new puppy, Pluto!  He was a great assistant throughout our recording.  We are happy to update you on our dryer as well as Shelley’s continued choices to wear clothing from two decades ago.  Moving onto more important things - we talk this week about dealing with intrusive thoughts during the recovery process, in particular for her.

Here are some of the things we cover:

- Know that this is "normal" and apart of the impact of the trauma.  It's not where we want women to stay long-term but it does serve a purpose short term in helping us move through the grief.

 

- There are also plenty of times when we need to contain the thoughts in order to be present and revisit the thoughts later.  We give three strategies to help with this containment:  brain stop, prayer and vaulting it.

 

- Suggesting she just STOP thinking about the past, looking at evidence of the past, etc. - is harmful.  Let this be HER process, not yours.

 

- It can be important to ask the question - is there a gap in safety somewhere causing her to ruminate / obsess during certain situations (when he is at work, goes to the grocery store, etc.)?  And instead of asking her to stop ruminating - figure out what she needs to feel safer.

 

We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!   

• There are several books we mention during this episode - Your Sexually Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk and the Brain STOP can be found on page 22 of the Rescued workbook.
• Jason announced the Worthy of Her Trust workshop happening this March in TX.  Applications are live and you can get all the details for that here.
• There is also a women’s retreat happening the beginning of April - details are here.
• We have several new groups starting in February.  Click here for all the details.
• Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here.  Would love for you to consider taking this with me, please add your name to the wait list so that you are the first to know when registration for the next round opens.  (The wait list just serves as a place for those with interest to get the first email.)
• Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. 
• We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! 
• Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list. 
• Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.