Honoring Caffyn Jesse: Erotic Embodiment, Choice & Voice, and the Lineage of Somatic Sex Education

Today’s episode is a tribute — a celebration of Caffyn Jesse, and the profound legacy Caffyn has offered the field of somatic sex education.

In this conversation, I share how Caffyn’s work has influenced my own path, and we explore her journey of erotic reclamation — from early experiences of queerness, isolation, and cultural conditioning, to the awakening of erotic life force through bodywork, breath, and sacred touch.

Caffyn is the author of Science for Sexual Happiness and Erotic Massage for Healing and Pleasure (republished as Intimacy Educator: Teaching Through Touch), and a co-founder of the Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education and the Somatic Sex Educators Association. During this interview, I learned Caffyn is retiring this month after decades of teaching, training, writing, and supporting somatic sex educators around the world — and I’m honored to mark this moment with her.

We speak about why “consent” isn’t always enough (because many of us are trained to consent to what we don’t actually want), and why voice and choice are foundational to erotic healing — especially within the realities of culture, race, gender, and nervous-system survival strategies like appeasement/fawning.

Caffyn also guides a brief somatic visualization at the end of the episode to help you connect pelvic warmth, breath, and the sacred life force of eros.

In this episode, we explore:

• Caffyn’s path into somatic sex education — and the turning points that changed everything
• Erotic embodiment as spiritual life force (eros as a gateway to source)
• Science for Sexual Happiness and the role of breath, sound, movement, and safety
• Touch as re-imprinting: how the body can shift from pain to pleasure
• Vulvodynia and “holy pain” as a teacher and initiator
• Why “taking turns” in touch changes everything (receiving without responsibility)
• The difference between consent and authentic desire
• Fawning/appeasement, cultural conditioning, and why many people consent to unwanted touch
• Race, gender, and social power dynamics in erotic exchange
• Group containers: why community healing is uniquely powerful
• How the Institute’s training model was redesigned to honor nervous-system pacing
• Retirement, spaciousness, and what may be calling Kain next
• A closing grounding + pelvic-energy visualization

Resources mentioned:

• Caffyn’s free PDF Intimacy Educator: Teaching Through Touch and other offerings: https://ecstaticbelonging.com
• More resources and teachings from me: rahichun.com

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