Life Coaching with Christine Hassler EP 266: Get Unstuck and Stop Being So Hard on Yourself with Rory
This call is about eliminating the imprints put on us by other people. Today’s caller, Rory, has childhood wounding from her father’s verbal abuse and her mother’s lack of support. She feels stuck in her life but she is just in a loop of patterns she created to cope with not getting what she needed as a child.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode266]
Whatever parent’s love we crave most or whichever parent we felt the most distant from is usually who we tend to find a relationship with or we model ourselves after. And, that is what we are always chasing as an adult.
We want our parents to be proud of us but especially our fathers. Knowing your dad is proud of you is massive. We want to know our mom loves us unconditionally and dad is really proud of us. It helps our self-esteem.
If you are someone who feels stuck, realize you are not stuck. You are just caught in a loop based on your imprints and your patterns and your wounding. You have to find an exit route. And, often the exit route is what you did not get as a child that you need to give yourself.
People are often good at giving others what they are horrible about giving to themselves. You may be nurturing and compassionate towards others but hard on yourself. Or, patient with others but completely impatient with yourself. Anything we give in overflow to others is what we need to give ourselves.
What are you giving that you’re not receiving?
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you keep trying but things just aren’t happening?
- Do you consistently start things but don’t finish them?
- Did you grow up in a household where both parents were really hard on you? Did you feel like nothing you ever did was right?
- Are you excellent at giving others compassion, acceptance, and understanding but not so great about giving it to yourself?
Rory’s Question:
Rory feels she has hit a wall and doesn’t understand why she doesn’t finish things she starts.
Rory’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She grew up with a lack of love.
- As a child, she was told she was different, sensitive, and that she would fail.
- She wonders what the point of her life is.
- She has a pattern of quitting.
- She has recurring disturbing dreams about her father and sister.
- She didn’t get any completion energy from her father.
- She internalized her father’s voice.
- She attaches negative connotations to journaling.
- She feels pressure to do a lot of things.
- She doesn’t speak to herself with compassion.
- She has a fierce inner critic.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Nourish herself with the things she didn’t get.
- Bring more healthy masculine energy into life.
- Reduce the amount of doing and be compassionate with herself.
- Realize external things won’t take the place of her passions.
- Write out and record what she wishes her mother would have said and listen to it several times a day.
- Listen to this episode again to reflect on how she is talking to herself.
Takeaways:
- What loop are you in and what are the imprints and patterns that have you in a loop? How can you find an exit route?
- What did you always want from your father or mother but didn’t get and start giving it to yourself?
- Listen to the voices in your head and to the ones that are mean, the ones that push you, the ones that don’t accept you say, "Who is this, who is this?" and separate yourself from those voices.
Sponsor:
ShipStation — The solution for online businesses and individuals who want to ship things without leaving home. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. ShipStation helps your business grow and thrive.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.