19: Why We Love, Lust, and Live

13 snips

Jun 22, 2015

Helen Fisher, a renowned research associate at Rutgers and chief scientific director of Match.com, dives deep into the science of love and human mating. She discusses how biological and cultural factors shape our attraction and mate selection. Fisher reveals fascinating insights into the neuroscience of love, explaining how falling in love alters brain function. The complexities of fidelity, infidelity, and even the intriguing psychology behind fetishes are explored, providing a rich tapestry of understanding in humanity's romantic pursuits.

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ANECDOTE

Twin Origins

Helen Fisher's interest in nature vs. nurture stemmed from being an identical twin.
Growing up, constant comparisons led her to question the origins of behavior.

INSIGHT

Three Brain Systems

Fisher suggests humans evolved three distinct brain systems for mating and reproduction.
These systems govern sex drive, romantic love, and attachment.

INSIGHT

Falling in Love

The term "falling in love" reflects the involuntary and sudden nature of romantic love.
Unlike the slow growth of attachment, romantic love can be triggered instantly.

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Mating intelligence

Glenn Geher

Geoffrey Miller

Anatomy of Love

A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray

Helen Fisher

This book is a cutting-edge tour de force that traces human family life from its origins in Africa over 4 million years ago to the Internet dating sites and bedrooms of today. It covers various aspects such as natural courting ploys, the biology of adultery, love addictions, chemically-based personality styles, worldwide patterns of divorce, and how brain science can help in making and keeping happy partnerships. Fisher examines marriage and divorce in 58 societies and adultery in 42 cultures, arguing that modern patterns of love and sex echo our ancient past, and she remains optimistic about the future of relationships in the digital age.

Why we love

The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

Helen Fisher

In this book, Helen Fisher uses fMRI brain scanning to investigate the brain circuitry of romantic love, arguing that it is a primary mating drive hardwired into our brains by millions of years of evolution. Fisher discusses romantic love among peoples around the world, the activation of brain regions associated with intense addiction when in love, and the evolution of love. She also explores other primary mating drives such as lust and attachment, and the future of romantic love in the digital age.

Why him? why her?

How to Find and Keep Lasting Love

Helen Fisher

This book provides a new way to understand relationships by analyzing four broad, biologically-based styles of thinking and behaving linked with the dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen systems in the brain. Based on her pioneering work and data from over 28,000 individuals, Fisher explains how these personality types influence who we love and how to use this knowledge to build and sustain happy long-term relationships. The book includes a scientifically developed questionnaire, the Fisher Temperament Inventory, which has been validated by brain scanning experiments and used by millions worldwide.