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Modern Wisdom
#838 - Dr Paul Eastwick - What Do People Really Want In A Partner?
Sep 14, 2024
Dr. Paul Eastwick, a psychologist and expert on romantic relationships, delves into what people truly seek in a partner. He reveals the gap between stated desires and actual choices, emphasizing that traits like being a good lover weigh more in desirability than expected. The conversation explores gender differences in preferences, the impact of emotional qualities over physical attributes, and the evolving dynamics shaped by societal changes. Eastwick also discusses how big data can revolutionize dating app matching, enhancing our understanding of attraction.
01:06:15
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Quick takeaways
- Individuals often struggle to accurately identify personal partner preferences despite general agreement on desirable traits like attractiveness and honesty.
- The gap between stated and revealed preferences highlights the importance of actual behaviors influencing romantic attraction rather than mere declarations of desire.
Deep dives
Understanding True Preferences in Partners
Many people possess a general understanding of desirable attributes in a romantic partner, agreeing that traits like attractiveness, intelligence, and honesty are essential. However, the challenge arises when individuals attempt to identify their unique preferences that differentiate them from others. Research indicates that while there is consensus on what is commonly wanted, self-knowledge about personal likes and dislikes can be inconsistent. Insight into what individuals value that is beyond the generalized traits proves to be a complex issue that requires deeper introspection.
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