Modern Wisdom #838 - Dr Paul Eastwick - What Do People Really Want In A Partner?
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Sep 14, 2024 
Dr. Paul Eastwick, a psychologist and expert on romantic relationships, delves into what people truly seek in a partner. He reveals the gap between stated desires and actual choices, emphasizing that traits like being a good lover weigh more in desirability than expected. The conversation explores gender differences in preferences, the impact of emotional qualities over physical attributes, and the evolving dynamics shaped by societal changes. Eastwick also discusses how big data can revolutionize dating app matching, enhancing our understanding of attraction.
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Knowing What You Want
- People accurately recognize universally desirable traits like attractiveness, intelligence, and kindness.
- However, they struggle to identify their unique preferences, what they value differently from others.
Stated vs. Revealed Preferences
- Stated preferences are what people say they want, often through surveys or rankings.
- Revealed preferences reflect what attributes actually predict liking in real-life encounters.
Ideal Partner Preference Matching
- Ideal partner preference matching assesses whether partners aligning with stated preferences leads to higher satisfaction.
- Studies use complex statistical methods to determine true matching effects beyond general desirability.