Episode 537: All men are incels (the bitter truth)

Jul 21, 2025

In a thought-provoking discussion, the podcast unpacks the idea of 'involuntary celibacy,' challenging stereotypes surrounding men and rejection. It highlights that all men experience rejection in some form, advocating for respect towards women's choices. The conversation also navigates the intricate dynamics of attraction and the emotional toll of dating, emphasizing the importance of respectful dialogue. It encourages community engagement while critiquing the mockery often directed at men adhering to societal norms.

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INSIGHT

All Men Experience Rejection

All men have experienced sexual rejection at some point in their lives, making them involuntarily celibate occasionally.
Even the most attractive men cannot have sex whenever they want; this experience is universal among men.

INSIGHT

Respecting Consent Defines Men

When a man's sexual interest is rebuffed, he either respects the woman's consent or violates it.
The true difference among men is respecting consent versus ignoring it, not just being rejected or not.

INSIGHT

Consent Upholds Civil Society

Choosing to respect a woman's right to consent is fundamental to civil society.
Men frustrated in their desires who abide by consent uphold law and human dignity.

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I've never understood the use of the term “incel” – or “involuntarily celibate” – as an insult. After all, if a man wants to have sex with a woman who doesn't, then – at least, in the context of this relationship – either the man is going to be involuntarily celibate or the woman is going to be involuntarily sexual. And while we do not need to celebrate those who obey the dicta of civil society and human dignity, I would argue that it is very stupid to denigrate those who choose to do so. The bitter truth is that – since no man who has never heard “no” – all men are incels. The real division is between those who respect that decision and those who don't.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

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