The Dr. Psych Mom Show
with clinical psychologist
Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten "My Husband Came Out After Years Of Sexlessness": Recovering From Betrayal Trauma With Guest Brandi Stupica
Dec 23, 2025
Brandi Stupica, a Developmental Psychology PhD turned real estate professional, shares her poignant journey of recovery from betrayal trauma after her husband came out as transgender. She candidly discusses the decline of intimacy in her marriage and how attachment theory shaped her choices. Brandi highlights the pivotal moment of discovery, her emotional collapse, and her use of EMDR and IFS therapy for healing. With a blend of humor and honesty, she reflects on rebuilding her life, dating with caution, and the impactful lessons learned through her experience.
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Grad School Sweetheart Marriage Unravels
- Brandi describes marrying her college sweetheart and pursuing a developmental psychology PhD while their marriage quietly deteriorated.
- She realized later that her husband's emotional avoidant style and their mismatched attachment needs fuelled long-term dysfunction.
Attachment Shapes Partner Selection
- Brandi notes attachment patterns often repeat across relationships: insecure people tend to select insecure partners.
- She admits her anxious tendencies paired with a dismissive avoidant partner created a persistent pursuer-distancer cycle.
Sexless Marriage Triggered Severe Coping
- Brandi recounts a steep decline in sexual intimacy after the birth of her children that led to severe sleep-eating and weight fluctuation.
- She spent years begging for sex and seeking medical and therapeutic help without resolution.