
The Look & Sound of Leadership Conflict
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Jul 7, 2022 Navigating conflict can feel like wandering through a dark house. Discover the 'Conflict House' metaphor that breaks down disputes into three predictable conversations: what happened, feelings, and identity. Curiosity replaces the urge to be right, easing tensions. Learn to explore differing perspectives and the importance of naming emotions instead of acting them out. Whether mediating or preparing for your own conflict, practical strategies guide you through difficult dialogues, making communication smoother and more effective.
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Manager’s Real Conflict Example
- Ashley described two direct reports stuck in conflict with opposing styles: one defensive and accusatory, the other avoidant and victimized.
- Tom used their story to introduce Conflict House as a framework for understanding recurring patterns in workplace disputes.
Conflict House: Two Entry Doors
- Conflict House frames every conflict as entering through two doors: Right/Wrong or Curiosity, which shapes how the conversation unfolds.
- Recognizing which door people used predicts the tone and ease of resolving the dispute.
Three Predictable Conversation Rooms
- Inside Conflict House there are only three predictable conversations: What Happened, Feelings, and Identity.
- Learning to spot these rooms makes conflicts easier to navigate because the pattern repeats across situations.






