Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

204: How to create more time by taking care of yourself

Feb 19, 2024

Explore the journey of a parent striving for perfection despite a challenging upbringing. Learn about the impact of family dynamics on parenting styles and the struggles of navigating motherhood in isolation. Delve into managing triggers, self-improvement, relationships, and the transformative power of self-reflection in conscious parenting.

43:33

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Episode guests

Sara

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Episode notes

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Understanding children's needs helps reduce conflicts; self-awareness in parenting is crucial.

Reflecting on upbringing aids in understanding parenting styles; managing triggers is key for effective parenting.

Deep dives

Developing Effective Parenting Strategies

Understanding and addressing children's needs is crucial. By recognizing and meeting both children's and parents' needs, conflicts can be reduced. The importance of identifying triggers is highlighted in the workshop, emphasizing the significance of self-awareness in parenting. Strategies like journaling to track triggers and responses can help parents navigate challenging situations more effectively.

Introduction

2min

Exploring Family Dynamics and Parenting Styles

4min

Navigating Motherhood Amidst Isolation and Overwhelm

13min

Navigating Parenting Challenges and Self-Improvement

2min

Navigating Relationships and Emotional Burdens in Parenting

22min

Transformative Self-Reflection for Conscious Parenting

2min

Sara has always tried really hard to not just be a good parent, but a really good parent. The best parent. (When I coached her and her partner recently to create some content for the Parenting Membership that you'll hear more about in a few weeks, her partner said to her: You hold everyone else to a high standard. You hold yourself to a higher standard.)

Sara put a lot of pressure on herself, and this was even harder because she she didn't have the most amazing parental role models. They often fought in front of Sara and her sibling (with insults and name calling a regular part of the mix), and they didn't repair afterward.

The difficult communication between parents extended to the children as well - Sara started to fight back when she was spanked, which escalated to physical fights as she got older. If she tried to talk with her Mom about previous incidents then her Mom would make out that she was the victim, while her Dad would whiz her down to Baskin Robbins for ice cream to win back her love. Sara withdrew, stopped sharing anything with her parents and isolated herself in her room - devouring books and the all the things on the early days of the internet.

So when she became a parent, it's not surprising she felt triggered! Conflict abounded! Conflict with her partner, and with her children - she knew how she WANTED to navigate it (in a way that modeled healthy conflict for her children), but how could she do that when she had no idea how?

We talk about conflict in this episode, and we also talk about needs. It turns out that Sara had needs (who knew!) and when she started to identify and meet them, the magic happened.

Spending time doing things for herself, to meet her need for creativity, created time to spend with her husband and children.

She realized she had been trying to do a lot of multitasking to try to fit everything in, but never spent time doing things she truly loved. Once she did, the background noise of that unmet need went quiet in her mind, and then she could actually enjoy spending time with her family.

Taming Your Triggers

Ready to break free from the cycle of triggered reactions and conflict in your parenting journey, just like Sara did? If you want to: 😟 Be triggered less often by your child's behavior, 😐 React from a place of compassion and empathy instead of anger and frustration, 😊 Respond to your child from a place that's aligned with your values rather than reacting in the heat of the moment, the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you make this shift. Join us to transform conflict into connection and reclaim peace in your parenting journey. Sign up for the waitlist now . Click the banner to learn more.

Jump to Highlights

00:49 Introducing today’s topic and guest 02:27 Sara’s upbringing and family life 07:40 Sara's pandemic parenting insights 11:28 The challenges of striving for excellence as a parent, especially in trying circumstances 13:55 Sara's decision to join the Parenting Membership before exploring Taming Your Triggers 16:33 Sara's specific triggers that prompted her to recognize the need for support 20:20 Sara’s initial experiences and emotions as she embarked on Taming Your Triggers workshop 26:16 Why Sara chose to prioritize journaling, its impact, and the major shifts she experienced throughout the workshop 30:51 How Sara approached parenting with an audience 33:00 Discovering recurring needs during the workshop that Sara hadn't noticed before 35:06 Sara’s realization that prioritizing self-care actually creates more time in her busy schedule 36:32 What changes Sara has noticed regarding her triggers 39:19 Mild, medium, and spicy practices for parents 42:19 Wrapping up discussion

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Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

204: How to create more time by taking care of yourself

Episode guests