It’s Just Porn, But Why Does It Hurt So Much?

So… your partner watches porn. Does that mean they’re cheating? Or is it just harmless fantasy? If you’ve ever asked yourself this—or felt a pit in your stomach after finding out—this episode is for you.

In this Language of Love session, I answer a powerful question from a listener named Karen. She just found out her boyfriend watches porn regularly, and she’s not sure how to feel. Hurt? Angry? Insecure? Betrayed?

Here’s the thing—this isn’t just about porn. It’s about trust. Boundaries. Feeling seen and safe in your relationship. And we’re going there.

In this episode, we get into:

• Why watching porn doesn’t automatically mean someone is cheating

• When fantasy crosses the line into a problem

• What porn does to the brain—and why so many people got hooked during the pandemic

• How too much porn can mess with intimacy (like, seriously mess with it)

• Why it’s totally normal to feel triggered or rejected—and how to talk about it with your partner

• The difference between emotional safety and sexual shame—and how to move through both

• Real tips for navigating conversations around porn, self-pleasure, and trust

Remember to visit my website to take a free quiz and explore 7 Days to Better Sex. It’s not about right or wrong—it’s about discovering what’s true for you. I’m here to help you gain clarity on what you want, what feels right, and how to bring more honesty and connection into your relationships.

And if you’ve ever felt alone in your struggles, know this: you’re not. So many of us are navigating the same questions.

Got something on your mind? A story or question you'd like to share? I’d love to hear from you. Email me anytime at languageoflovepod@gmail.com.

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