419. Break Up on Purpose with John Kim

If you’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship and wondering whether it’s right for you or you’re recently facing the pain and confusion of a breakup, we invite you to tune into this episode with John Kim, also known as the Angry Therapist, to explore his viewpoint on relationship endings. 

John lays out how breakups or ‘relationship expirations’ as he coins them, can serve as powerful catalysts to kickstart your own personal growth, and highlights the importance of self-reflection, healthy boundaries, and meaningful connection with yourself and others. 

Speaking from his own experiences, as well as insights and stories from his latest book, Breakup on Purpose, you’ll hear why John sees breakups as not just painful endings but meaningful rites of passage that can offer space to learn and evolve. 

Listen and Learn:

• Breakups, while painful, can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth when approached with reflection and ownership
• Shifting how we view breakups from failures to “expired relationships” helps us embrace healing and rewrite the narrative around endings
• How to balance knowing when to work through relationship challenges versus when it’s healthy to walk away
• Why breakups are a natural rite of passage and essential for personal growth
• Why humility and self-reflection are essential but often difficult steps toward personal growth
• Healing from a breakup involves embracing the pain with compassion, finding purpose beyond the relationship, and transforming personal loss into growth and a greater meaningful journey
• How society places too much importance on romantic love as the sole source of meaning and fulfillment and elying on one romantic partner to fulfill all needs is unrealistic and sets people up for disappointment
• Breakups have distinctive types that require different responses and healing strategies
• How to balance self-comfort with avoiding behaviors that hinder healing after a breakup by setting personal limits and gradually re-engaging with life
• The importance of meaningful connection, whether through community, close relationships, or personal passions, as a vital part of recovery, especially for introverts
• The cycle of rupture and repair in relationships is essential, teaching us how to build deeper connection, resilience, and emotional safety

Resources:

• John’s Website: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
• John’s Books: 
• Break Up On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063275331 
• Single On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780062980731 
• Connect with John on Socials: 
• https://www.facebook.com/john.kim.1650/
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/theangrytherapist
• https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
• Power of Discord by Ed Tronick and Claudia Gold: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780316488877 
• Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780807060100 

About John Kim

John Kim, widely known as 'The Angry Therapist.' John is a licensed therapist, engaging speaker, fellow podcaster, and best-selling author whose works include 'It's Not Me, It's You,' 'Single. On Purpose,' and 'I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck.' What makes John's approach unique is how he shares therapeutic wisdom through his blog and Instagram, using authenticity and transparency to connect with and support people on their personal journeys.

Related Episodes:

• 117. Bearing Unbearable Loss: A Conversation about Grief with Joanne Cacciatore
• 126. Surviving Break-Ups and Divorce: How to Mend a Broken Heart, with Debbie and Yael
• 186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab
• 249. How to be Single and Happy with Jenny Taitz
• 343. Heartbreak with Florence Williams

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