EP 319: Healing Jealousy and Not Feeling Good Enough with Boston

Oct 20, 2021

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This episode is about overcoming not-enoughness and meeting our own needs to be secure in relationships. Today’s caller, Boston, has a protective pattern from his childhood that shows up as jealousy. It is blocking him from feeling secure in his relationship. He is working to shift his jealous feelings and is asking for guidance to understand the origin of his feelings and heal his anxious attachment style.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode319]

We are human. We are going to have patterns and we are going to have programming. There will be feelings that come up. There may be anxiety, OCD, insecurities, jealousy, co-dependence, people-pleasing, etc. It is not who you are. I say it again, it is not who you are.

Just because you have jealousy doesn’t mean you are a jealous person. Just because a pattern comes up for you, jealousy, or anything else you want to shift, it doesn’t mean you are that pattern. It is so important that whenever we are working to shift something, we accept it. The more we judge and shame ourselves, the more it sticks and the harder it is to change. So, if you are trying hard to change things about yourself, do not make yourself miserable. Being aware and accepting your patterns is the path forward.

Often, we make things more complicated than they need to be. Our primary desire is to feel safe, seen, heard, and loved. The more we get it from within ourselves the more we get it from others. The more we can acknowledge the tender parts inside of us the less we need external validation.

If you are a woman looking for a man and put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship, the holidays can be challenging. So, starting late November or early December, join Stefanos and me for our Be the Queen program. This upcoming event is the last event until next year. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen for more information.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you struggle with jealousy in your relationship even if there is no reason for it?
Do you judge yourself for getting jealous?
Did you grow up feeling like you fit into society, your family, or your peer group? Did you look or feel different, like you were not good enough?
How are you at meeting your own needs?

Boston’s Question:

Boston has a pattern of exhibiting jealousy in his relationships. He would like guidance on how to heal his triggers.

Boston’s Key Insights and Ahas: