"The Sex Talk You Never Got" with Sam Jolman

In this episode of the 3% Podcast, hosts Jamie Haigh and Blake Roberts engage in a profound conversation with therapist Sam Jolman about masculine sexuality, trauma recovery, and the importance of open discussions around sexual health. Sam shares his personal journey and insights from his book, 'The Sex Talk You Never Got,' emphasizing the need for healthy conversations about sexuality, especially for men. The discussion covers breaking generational patterns, nurturing healthy masculinity, and the significance of awe versus lust in understanding desire. Sam encourages men to embrace their sexual innocence and engage in their stories with curiosity and compassion.

Takeaways

• The journey to understanding one's sexuality often stems from personal pain and passion.
• Healthy masculinity can coexist with sexual desire.
• Parents should strive to break generational patterns of shame surrounding sexuality.
• Instilling an appreciation for beauty in children can foster healthy sexuality.
• Sexuality is not just a drive; it is a desire that can be explored.
• Curiosity about sexuality should be met with compassion and respect.
• Awe can lead to deeper connections than lust.
• Men often struggle with shame around their sexuality, which can hinder their relationships.
• There is always hope for recovering one's sexual innocence.

Learn more about Sam: ⁠https://www.samjolman.com/⁠

Read more of Sam’s writing on Substack: ⁠samjolman.substack.com/⁠

Follow Sam on Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/samjolman

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Sam Jolman and His Work

04:14 The Importance of Male Sexuality Conversations

06:21 Sam's Journey to Writing About Masculine Sexuality

10:13 Navigating Conversations with Sons About Sexuality

14:40 Instilling Appreciation for Beauty and Healthy Masculinity

19:01 Understanding Attachment and Affection in Male Development

23:55 The Role of Curiosity in Sexual Education

27:37 Navigating Parental Conversations on Sexuality

30:40 The Importance of Openness in Sex Education

32:37 Understanding Desire vs. Drive in Sexuality

34:59 Healing from Past Trauma and Embracing Curiosity

37:50 The Role of Respect and Boundaries in Sexual Conversations

40:55 Distinguishing Between Awe, Lust, and Desire

51:10 Encouragement for Men on Their Sexual Journey

Keywords

masculine sexuality, sexual trauma recovery, men's issues, therapy, healthy sexuality, generational sin, sexual education, emotional health, parenting, self-discovery