Evan Wolfson On Winning Marriage Equality

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Apr 11, 2025

Evan Wolfson, a trailblazing attorney and gay rights pioneer, founded Freedom to Marry, leading the charge for marriage equality. He shares captivating insights about the fierce resistance within the gay community during early activism and the monumental breakthrough in Hawaii. Reflecting on his personal journey, he discusses his formative experiences, the impact of the AIDS crisis, and the evolving landscape of public support for marriage equality. Wolfson highlights coalition-building strategies that turned the tide in favor of love and legal recognition.

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ANECDOTE

High School Reunion

Evan Wolfson attended a large public high school in Pittsburgh, Alderdice, considered one of the best in the US.
He recently attended his 50th high school reunion and found it surprisingly moving to reconnect with old friends.

ANECDOTE

Early Awareness

Evan Wolfson realized he was gay at a young age, even having a related dream at age three.
However, he lacked the vocabulary to understand it and kept it to himself throughout high school.

ANECDOTE

Peace Corps Experience

Evan Wolfson joined the Peace Corps after Yale and was stationed in Togo, West Africa.
It was there that he began exploring his sexuality with other volunteers, despite homosexuality being criminalized in Togo.

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Evan is an attorney and gay rights pioneer. He founded and led Freedom to Marry — the campaign to win marriage until victory at the Supreme Court in 2015, after which he then wound down the organization. During those days he wrote the book Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People’s Right to Marry. Today he “advises and assists diverse organizations, movements, and countries in adapting the lessons on how to win to other important causes.” We became friends in the 90s as we jointly campaigned for what was then a highly unpopular idea.

For two clips of our convo — on the early, fierce resistance to gay marriage by gay activists, and the “tectonic” breakthrough in Hawaii — pop over to our YouTube page.

Other topics: raised in Pittsburgh by a pediatrician and a social worker; being a natural leader in high school; his awakening as a gay kid; the huge influence of John Boswell on both of us; working at Lambda Legal; Peace Corps in West Africa; a prosecutor in Brooklyn; the AIDS crisis; coalition building; engaging hostile critics; Peter Tatchell; lesbian support over kids; the ACLU’s Dan Foley; Judge Chang in Hawaii; Clinton and DOMA; Bush and the Federal Marriage Amendment; the federalist approach and Barney Frank; Prop 8; the LDS self-correcting on gays; the huge swing in public support; Obama not endorsing marriage in 2008; Obergefell and Kennedy’s dignitas; Trump removing the GOP’s anti-marriage plank; Bostock; dissent demonized within the gay community; the Respect for Marriage Act; and Evan and me debating the transqueer backlash.

Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy (the first 102 are free in their entirety — subscribe to get everything else). Coming up: Claire Lehmann on the success of Quillette, Francis Collins on faith and science and Covid, Stephen Macedo and Frances Lee on Covid’s political fallout, Sam Tanenhaus on Bill Buckley, Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson on the Biden years, and Paul Elie on his book The Last Supper: Art, Faith, Sex, and Controversy in the 1980s. Please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.