Ep. 281: Communication and Conflict Part 2 Refilling the Love Bank

This is part two of a four part series to help parents and teens improve their communication and reduce conflict. It’s adapted from a parent/teen retreat and includes small group questions you help you process the material as a family. Today’s episode focuses understanding the emotional love bank each family member has with one another. Once we learn the impact of deposits and withdraws, we can begin to build emotional security in our household relationships. We discuss applying the New Testament One Another’s to our family, identifying one another’s love languages, securing easy wins, and avoiding costly losses in our communication.

 

Key Points:


1. The Love Bank/Tank represents the amount of positive emotional reserves you have for each relationship.

2. Everyone wants to feel noticed, loved, and appreciated. We get to be the hands, feet, and mouth of Jesus to one another in the home!

3. As a general rule, people need to hear 5-10 affirmations for every cirque, otherwise they become insecure and resentful.

4. The Five Love Languages are helpful in understanding how individuals give and receive love. Your family will benefit if you know which ones each member values the highest: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, Words of Affirmation.

5. Go for the easy wins and avoid the easy loses! Parents need to eliminate cut-downs and comparisons. Teens need to understand that lying breaks trust and relationships.

6. A full love bank allows for a secure relationship.

 

Discussion Questions with your family after listening:

 

1. What was the most important thing you heard in this episode?

2. If you’re being honest, how would you describe your love tank with each member of your family right now? Why do you say this?

3. Have you ever thought about how you’ve been called to be the hands, feet, and mouth of Jesus so they can feel secure in the Lord? What do you think about that?

4. When it comes to the five love languages, what ones help you feel loved the most? Which ones are the ways you most often try to express your love to others? Remember the languages are Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, and Words of Affirmation. What’s a specific way that your family members could help you feel more loved?

5. What’s an easy win way that someone can make a deposit into your love tank?

6. Take a time to encourage one another. What are a few specific things that you like about the people in your family? If they are in your group make sure you tell them!

7. Finish out by praying for each other!

 

Resources Mentioned:

Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

 

For more detail on the Love Bank, check out my article “The Love Bank”: https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2017/10/30/the-love-bank/

 

His Needs Her Needs: Making Romantic Love Last by Willard F Harley Jr. https://amzn.to/3LDu92N

 

The Five Love Languages: Secrets to Love That Last by Gary Chapman https://amzn.to/3LzKztg