Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your deepest dilemmas!
Last week we learned that Laura was in her mid twenties when she realised how chickens procreated. It turns out, she was absolutely not alone!
Which voice do you like your robots to have? Are you into the simple factory setting Siri or would you prefer a bit of hot guy ASMR?
Vibes for the week:
Laura - The Six Triple Eight film on Netflix
Britt - The Telepathy Tapes Podcast
Keeshia - The Traitors US on 10Play
Then we jump into your questions!
USED CONDOM
I was with my ex for almost 3 years when we had a baby. The baby was 1 and things in our relationship went downhill. We called it off due to my partner needing space. 3 weeks after breaking up we had a chat and agreed that we would see each other again and not see anyone else. I have now found a used condom in the bin. Some background context; he got asked to be a sperm donor by a friend and has said that he masturbated into the condom to save it. Am I wrong in not believing why the condom was used?
FAST MOVING RELATIONSHIP AND THEFT
I have been seeing a guy for about 6 months. It’s one of those romances that moves quite fast and feels so perfect. I have not had many adult relationships, never felt this loved so it’s all full steam ahead. I’ve had a few comments from friends and family about the speed we are moving but that’s probably expected. We are currently applying for houses so we can live together. He has kids from past relationships that he has a lot of the time. I love kids so no problem here.
My question is I have just found out that he has some legal proceedings coming up this year. He used someone else’s bank details to purchase items for himself, so effectively stealing/fraud but he stands by that he was told he could spend the money on himself even though he thought it seemed a bit odd at the time. He will be pleading guilty as his lawyer advised this will be the best outcome for him. I am so conflicted as I have never felt this loved by someone and felt like I was really finally getting my fairy tale ending after watching everyone else get theirs. Is it a bad idea to stand by and support him while he goes through this knowing he has stolen from someone? I can’t even fathom having to try and find someone else at this point as I really want kids of my own in the next few years and it took me 10 years to find someone.
WE ELOPED AND MY PARENTS ARE ANGRY
My husband and I recently eloped overseas. We made the decision to keep it a surprise and tell everyone at the same time with individual messages to our immediate families and social media informing all other family and friends. Everyone so far has been extremely happy for us and shared that excitement, mainly my husband's family. My parents however have not contacted me since we told them over 2 weeks ago, absolute radio silence. I preempted this reaction from my mum seeing as my MIL was actually on the holiday with us and was able to be at the elopement. I knew this would upset her, however I still hoped she could put aside her personal hurt to still be happy for us. I am angry at my parents for their lack of interest in such a pivotal point in my life and am adamant that I am not the one who needs to reach out at this time. Am I right to leave the ball in their court to reach out? Every day that goes by seriously affects how our relationship looks in the future. Please note my mum is often a selfish person who is always the victim. My dad hurts more though as he appears to have sided with mum in not messaging me even personally.
DEALING WITH MY MIL
My MIL plays a minimal role in our daughter's life, but recently we have asked her to mind our little one for an hour each week. When the MIL comes over, she is always calling me a ‘mean mum’ to my daughter. For example, we were heading off for a big swim in the river, the furthest I would have ever swam and I had made myself some food which was different to my daughter’s dinner as I have lots of food allergies. Of course my daughter wanted some of mine, but I was trying to encourage her to eat her own food. My mother in law then called me a ‘mean mum’ over and over again. Our daughter is 18 months and will probably begin to understand the animosity here soon. I always play nice and laugh it off. She NEVER does this when my husband is around, so when I tell him about it, as much as he believes me, it makes it tricky to bring up. I have tried saying things like, ‘Hey, that’s not very fair or kind’, but she continues. Any further suggestions? My family lives 4 hours away and I really need that 1 hour break so I can go exercise with my husband and we have time together. Our second baby is on the way and I can’t afford to damage the relationship further.
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