We Heart Therapy EP 105: How to Work with Two Withdrawers in Emotionally Focused Therapy with EFT Trainer Dr. Tal Padeh
Oct 21, 2025
Dr. Tal Padeh is a clinical psychologist and Certified EFT Trainer from Israel, specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy. He and Dr. Anabelle Bugatti delve into the unique challenges of working with couples where both partners are withdrawers. They discuss identifying withdrawal dynamics, the importance of validating defenses, and strategies to facilitate emotional engagement. Tal shares real clinical insights and stresses the need for therapists to embody empathy and gently challenge avoidance, encouraging small steps towards reconnection.
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Low Drama Can Hide Deep Disconnect
- Two withdrawers lower emotional intensity to protect themselves and each other.
- That calm can mask disconnection and still require therapeutic work.
Anchor Therapy To Their Stated Longing
- Ask who brought the couple to therapy and what pain led them here to locate longing.
- Use that stated goal to gently reintroduce avoided topics and offer to help bring them up.
Respect Pace But Help Them Move
- Balance giving control with actively helping when avoidance blocks progress.
- Offer to do the difficult work together rather than only respecting their pace.
