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How To Rewrite Your Story, Make Peace with the Past, and Break Old Patterns | Melissa Febos

45 snips
Jan 9, 2026
Melissa Febos, a national bestselling memoirist and professor, discusses the transformative power of personal narratives. She shares her five-step method for rewriting unhelpful stories and emphasizes the importance of community and vulnerability in the change process. Febos reflects on her own struggles with addiction and how revising her narratives has reshaped her identity. The conversation dives into practical strategies like daily self-inventory and the value of viewing oneself as a character, highlighting the messy but rewarding journey of personal growth.
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INSIGHT

Stories Shape Suffering And Change

  • The stories we tell ourselves are a major source of suffering and also shape identity and behavior.
  • Revising those narratives lets us access agency and change longstanding patterns.
ANECDOTE

Addictive Drives Shaped Her Path

  • Melissa Febos identifies as an addict who pursued pleasurable behaviors until something broke, then built reflection into her life.
  • She credits sobriety and structured self-work for long-term survival and change.
INSIGHT

Awareness Converts To Agency

  • Awareness updates your narrative and reveals choices you've been avoiding, creating real agency.
  • That agency enables concrete behavior change which then revises identity over time.
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