033: How TOV Can Turn TOXIC Church Cultures Into Cultures Of Goodness

In this episode of the Church Disrupted podcast, Jeff Cochran and Author Laura McKnight Barringer discuss spiritual abuse and toxic church cultures. She shares the moment that woke her up to the reality of spiritual abuse. They also explore the concept of 'tov' (goodness) in the church, the features of narcissistic pastors, and the characteristics of toxic Christian workplaces. They address the reasons people stay silent in the face of abuse, the response of churches to accusations against pastors, and the danger of internal investigations. All of these issues and more should massively concern us, but could the answer to them be as simple as creating TOV cultures? Join us for this conversation to find out the answer. Connect with Laura here: https://www.laurabarringer.net/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction 07:10 Recognizing Spiritual Abuse 13:18 Understanding Tov and a Culture of Tov 16:25 Features of Narcissistic Pastors 24:45 Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Culture 28:15 Reasons for Silence and Fear of Speaking Out 34:45 Responses to Accusations Against Pastors 39:37 Internal Investigations and Lack of Independence 40:23 The Need for External Investigation 41:30 The Role of Retainers in Perpetuating Abuse 43:29 The Unawareness of Spiritual Abusers 44:59 The Result of Abuse Regardless of Intent 48:37 The Sanitization of Truth in Church Systems 49:04 Forming a Truth-Telling Culture 53:57 The Attraction of Narcissistic Leaders to the Modern Church 58:56 The Lack of Accountability in Church Systems 01:02:48 Transforming Church Culture through Power 01:03:06 Creating Pockets of Tove 01:09:29 Advice for Senior Leaders in Creating a Tove Culture 01:14:34 Advice for General Church Staff in Creating Pockets of Tove 01:16:24 Advice for Parishioners in Creating a Healthy Church 01:18:10 Advice for Victims of Spiritual Abuse in Healing and Creating Safe Spaces