191: How to Enjoy The Holidays Even When Things go "Wrong" with Kellyn Legath

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🎄 Holiday Expectations, Emotional Triggers & Radical Acceptance: How Your “Manuals” Are Ruining Your Holidays

What if the thing making the holidays so stressful isn’t your family… but your expectations?

In this special holiday episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on something that quietly runs our emotional lives—manuals. These are the invisible rules we carry about how people should behave, how holidays should look, and how we should show up. And during the holidays? These manuals go into overdrive.

When technology issues cut short my holiday interview with fellow coach Kellyn Legath, I had a choice: spiral into frustration—or practice what I teach. This episode became a real-time lesson in radical acceptance, emotional regulation, and reclaiming your peace when life doesn’t go according to plan.

Together, Kellyn and I explore how holiday manuals create resentment, burnout, and emotional reactivity—and how learning to recognize them can help you feel more grounded, empowered, and emotionally free this season.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• What a “manual” really is—and how unspoken expectations create resentment
• Why the holidays intensify emotional triggers for highly sensitive people
• How manuals silently put other people in charge of your emotions
• The difference between reacting emotionally and responding intentionally
• How to identify your own holiday manuals (for others and yourself)
• Why communication—not mind reading—is the key to healthier holidays
• How to set realistic, measurable expectations for how you show up
• Practical ways to navigate family dynamics without people-pleasing
• How radical acceptance helps you find peace even when things go “wrong”
• Why letting yourself be human is more powerful than trying to be perfect

Challenge for the Week

Before your next holiday gathering, pause and ask yourself:

1. What am I expecting here?
2. Have I communicated that expectation—or am I assuming others should know?
3. What are three realistic ways I can measure that I showed up well—without needing perfection?

Notice every time the word should pops into your thoughts. That’s your manual asking for attention.

Work With Me

If this episode made you realize how much emotional energy you spend managing other people’s feelings—or how often your happiness depends on things going “just right”—you don’t have to navigate that alone.

I support highly sensitive people and recovering people-pleasers in learning how to:

• Regulate their emotions
• Set boundaries without guilt
• Stop feeling responsible for everyone else’s experience

Apply to work with me here: https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me

Don’t Forget to Subscribe

If you found this episode helpful, make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss future conversations on emotional regulation, boundaries, and creating more peace in your relationships—especially during emotionally charged seasons like the holidays.

Links Mentioned in This Episode

MaryAnn Walker: life coach for highly sensitive people & recovering people-pleasers

Contact MaryAnn: https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me

Contact Kellyn: https://www.instagram.com/daydreamercoaching/