
The Couples Therapist Couch
232: Understanding Leverage in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel
Mar 3, 2025
Explore the intriguing concept of leverage in couples therapy. Discover how different forms of leverage can motivate partners to change and improve communication. Shane shares tips on navigating sensitive topics, like staying together for the kids. Uncover the key questions to ask during therapy sessions to unlock deeper insights and foster healthier relationships. This discussion sheds light on the dynamics of commitment and the power of effective therapeutic techniques.
30:02
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Quick takeaways
- Understanding leverage in couples therapy requires identifying individual needs to facilitate cooperative change rather than assigning blame.
- Recognizing each partner's commitment level is crucial, as therapists must adapt their approach according to their engagement in the relationship.
Deep dives
Understanding Leverage in Couples Therapy
Creating leverage in couples therapy involves fostering motivation for change by understanding each partner's needs. By gathering perspectives from both partners, therapists can identify crucial areas where one partner may need to adjust their behavior to meet the other's emotional requirements. For example, if one partner desires affection while the other engages in hurtful name-calling, the therapist can illustrate how changing this behavior can lead to improved intimacy. This approach shifts the focus from placing blame to encouraging cooperative change based on mutual desires.
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