The Couples Therapist Couch 232: Understanding Leverage in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel
Mar 3, 2025
Explore the intriguing concept of leverage in couples therapy. Discover how different forms of leverage can motivate partners to change and improve communication. Shane shares tips on navigating sensitive topics, like staying together for the kids. Uncover the key questions to ask during therapy sessions to unlock deeper insights and foster healthier relationships. This discussion sheds light on the dynamics of commitment and the power of effective therapeutic techniques.
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Leveraging Desires
- Understand each partner's desires deeply to leverage motivation.
- Connect change to fulfilling those desires, promoting willingness.
Beyond Right and Wrong
- Avoid "right and wrong" conversations; focus on individual needs and willingness to meet them as a gift.
- This fosters generosity and avoids control, promoting healthier dynamics.
Commitment as Leverage
- The most crucial leverage in couples therapy is commitment to the relationship.
- Recognize quickly if one partner is disengaged, as this impacts the approach.