Relationship Advice

How To Handle Different Paces In Emotional Growth

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Apr 23, 2025
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ANECDOTE

Reading Pace Anecdote

  • Coulter shares a personal example of reading a book with his wife where they read at different paces.
  • His attempt to speed up to match her pace led to frustration and disconnect as they couldn't stay on the same chapter.
INSIGHT

Pace Doesn't Equal Advancement

  • Emotional growth paces differ and doesn't mean one partner is more emotionally advanced.
  • Expressing emotions more intensely or using new coping strategies imperfectly doesn't equal emotional superiority.
ADVICE

Use Curiosity Over Criticism

  • Use curiosity instead of criticism when noticing differences in emotional growth.
  • Ask your partner how they experience your changes and invite open dialogue without judgment.
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