Eps 143: Mary Nelsen-Tamborski Talks About Making Mistakes and Being Raised with PD

Today’s guest is Mary Nelsen-Tamborski, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego and also a certified positive discipline trainer and parent coach. Mary’s formal training is secondary to the life training she got from her mother, Dr. Jane Nelsen, a marriage and family therapist and author of all the positive discipline books. Mary is a popular keynote speaker, and workshop presenter. We are discussing mistakes as opportunities to learn. Join us!

“I find that these principles are universal so they are great, obviously for parents and children but it's also just human beings in general.”

"The lens that we see our kids out of is everyone being equally worthy of dignity and respect it's no wonder that how we treat our kids , it should be a mirror of how we treat our friends and how we treat our coworkers and the checkers at the grocery store. It's about human to human relationships."

"You have to break down to break through." `

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• How positive discipline impacts other relationships in our lives
• Positive discipline as a theory and the reality of implementation
• Mistakes as opportunities to learn and navigating shame
• Solutions oriented problem solving versus consequences
• Dealing with your own emotional stuff when encountering challenging behaviour
• The role of regular family meetings
• The importance of apologies
• Making amends after we make mistakes
• What to do when you "lose it"
• Post-conflict communication and rebuilding closeness
• Managing triggers and being called out on your stuff
• Learning and growing as a family in positive discipline
• Assumptions & consequences - 3 R's & 1 H
• Brain development and consequences
• Genuine curiosity and asking curious questions to improve communication
• Curiosity as a way of being
• Shedding ego to engage in a meaningful way
• Connecting early to keep the lines of communication open for adolescence
• Treating your children as friends - a positive discipline perspective

Resources:

Jane Nelsen’s book Serenity

Where to find Mary:Website

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