A 4-Step Process for Changing the Patterns That Hold You Back (Gabby Bernstein)
Jan 2, 2025
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Join Gabby Bernstein, a spiritual teacher and New York Times bestselling author, as she unveils a transformative four-step process inspired by Internal Family Systems therapy. Discover how to recognize and nurture the childlike parts within us that influence our behaviors, including people-pleasing and controlling tendencies. Gabby shares personal stories and therapeutic techniques to foster self-awareness and healing, emphasizing the journey toward authentic self-discovery and manifestation through compassionate engagement with our inner selves.
Gabby Bernstein's four-step process encourages self-awareness by identifying and engaging with limiting emotions and behaviors to foster healing.
The podcast highlights the relationship between manifesting desires and understanding internal parts, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance in achieving goals.
Deep dives
Recognizing Emotional Patterns
The first step in Gabby Bernstein's transformative process is recognizing undesirable emotions or patterns that individuals wish to address. This includes feelings such as anxiety, rage, or behaviors like people-pleasing and addiction. Awareness of these emotions and behaviors provides a foundation for deeper exploration and understanding. By identifying these issues, individuals can begin to shift their focus from avoidance to engagement with their internal experiences.
Understanding Internal Family Systems
Bernstein elaborates on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model created by Richard Schwartz, which posits that individuals possess multiple sub-personalities or 'parts' that develop early in life to protect against emotional pain. These parts can include 'protector' roles that manage our behaviors and emotions, often emerging from childhood traumas, whether large or small. Recognizing these protector parts helps individuals understand their actions and emotions from a compassionate perspective. This insight fosters a nurturing relationship with these parts, allowing for greater self-awareness and healing.
The Four-Step Self-Help Process
Bernstein introduces a simple four-step self-help process that encourages individuals to engage with their internal parts. The process begins with checking in to identify a relevant part, followed by fostering curiosity towards these parts to understand their feelings and needs. This inquiry allows for a deeper connection, enabling individuals to acknowledge the burden these parts carry. Ultimately, the final step involves recognizing one's self-energy, characterized by calmness and compassion, which can emerge when protector parts are understood and allowed to relax.
Manifestation and the Role of Self
The discussion also touches on the relationship between manifesting desires and accessing one's true self. Bernstein emphasizes that manifestation requires understanding and reconciling limiting beliefs held by various parts of oneself that hinder progress. By nurturing the self, individuals can align their energy with their true desires, promoting a more authentic and effective process of manifesting their goals. This approach encourages individuals to cultivate a sense of safety and clarity, empowering them to take conscious steps towards their aspirations without being controlled by fear or protective mechanisms.
Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, Gabby Bernstein created this simple, and yet powerful, process that you can do for one minute a day—or whenever you need to check in with yourself and reconnect with the core of who you are. It’s a helpful tool for (safely) recognizing beliefs, behaviors, and patterns that limit us—and then befriending these smaller, childlike parts of us, instead of letting them control us. It’s also what Bernstein calls “the real manifesting flex.”
For Bernstein’s new book Self-Help, more on IFS (including my podcast conversation with IFS founder Richard Schwartz), and the rest of the show notes: head over to my Substack.