In this engaging conversation, Brian Lowery, a Stanford professor and social psychologist, shares insights from his book, *Selfless*. He argues that our identities are fluid and shaped by social relationships, challenging the myth of a constant self. Lowery emphasizes the role of community and culture in personal development, critiques the notion of meritocracy, and highlights how our neighborhoods influence success. His refreshing perspective invites us to embrace diverse thoughts and reconsider how we define ourselves in a constantly changing world.
Our identities are constantly evolving through social interactions and relationships, illustrating that the self is not a fixed entity.
Environmental contexts profoundly shape our identities and opportunities, emphasizing the interconnectedness of identity and social surroundings.
Deep dives
The Self as a Social Construct
The self is largely shaped by social interactions and relationships, rather than being a fixed entity. This perspective argues that our identities evolve through our connections with family, friends, communities, and even our environments. For example, a person may see themselves as an artist only after engaging in creative interactions with others, highlighting that skills and characteristics are often nurtured within relational contexts. Thus, the self is not merely a personal attribute but a product of co-creation influenced by the feedback and perceptions we receive from those around us.
Multiplicity of Selves
Rather than possessing a singular identity, individuals experience multiple selves that manifest in different contexts and stages of life. People may identify as a parent in one situation, a friend in another, or a professional in the workplace, showcasing how environment and roles influence self-perception. This variability challenges the notion of a unified self, suggesting that our identities adapt to various circumstances over time. Therefore, recognizing and accepting this multiplicity can enhance our understanding of who we are and how we navigate the world.
Identity and the Impact of Environment
The environments in which we grow up, such as our neighborhoods and communities, play a significant role in shaping our identities and opportunities. Research indicates that these social contexts can have profound effects on outcomes like economic mobility and personal development. For instance, individuals may not fully appreciate how much their surroundings influence their life paths, often attributing success or failure solely to personal efforts. By acknowledging the interconnectedness of identity and environment, individuals can better understand the complexities that contribute to their sense of self.
Freedom within Relationships
The concept of freedom is intricately related to our social relationships, as individuals often seek constraints that guide their decision-making and actions. People desire the feeling of agency but often overlook how relationships inherently shape their choices and limit their freedom in constructive ways. Healthy relationships can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging, which enhances personal growth rather than hindering it. Interestingly, while individuals claim to want total independence, the fulfillment derived from relationships indicates that embracing certain constraints can actually enrich their experience of freedom.
It’s tempting to believe that the self is a constant. That it’s a core component of who we are from the time we’re born.
But social psychologist and Stanford Professor Brian Lowery has a different view. He believes the self we are today is a product of our social relationships – our friends, our families, our communities, our technologies, even our geography. That as our circumstances change, so does the self we believe ourselves to be. In this interview, we talk about this and more from his book, Selfless: The Social Creation of You.
Brian’s argument explains so much about how we operate in the world, and he gives us another reason to prioritize social relationships in our lives.
Episode Links
A Provocative Theory of Identity Finds There is No ‘You’ in Self
Brian Lowery on the Myth of Rugged Individualism and What This Means for the America of the 2020s
Interview with Gregory Burns
The Team
Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here.
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