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101: What happens after divorce – and how it impacts children

Oct 14, 2019

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This is the third episode in our series on parental relationships – and the lack thereof… We started with episode 35, which was called “All Joy and No Fun,” where we learned how children can be one of the greatest joys of a parent’s life – but that all the daily chores and struggles can get on top of us and make parenting – both in terms of our relationship with our child and our spouse – something that isn’t necessarily much fun in the moment. And if you missed that episode you might want to go back and check it out, because I walked you through a research-based idea I’ve been using to increase the amount of fun I have while I’m hanging out with my daughter, who was a toddler when I recorded that episode.

Then we took a turn for the worse in episode 36 and looked at the impact of divorce on children’s development, and we learned that it can have some negative impacts for some children, although the majority are pretty resilient and do make it through a divorce OK. For the last episode in the long-delayed conclusion to this mini-series we’re going to take a look at what happens after divorce – things like single parenting and remarriage and stepfamilies, that can also have large impacts on children’s lives. We’ll spend a good chunk of the show looking at things that stepfamilies can do to be more successful.

Jump to highlights 01:01 Introduction of episode 02:15 The things we don’t understand well 06:37 30% of the children live with their unmarried parent 14:36 Impacts of remarriage on a child’s development 15:55 Lists of common areas where stepfather encounters problem after remarriage 17:21 What can we learn from the research 19:05 Definition of authoritative parenting 24:34 Models of blended family 35:44 2 different schools of thought 36:38 Dr. William Jeynes' conclusion of remarriage 38:38 Conclusion of the episode References Braithwaite, D.O., Olson, L.N., Golish, T.D., Soukup, C., & Turman, P. 001). “Becoming a family”: Developmental processes represented in blended family discourse. Journal of Applied Communication Research 29(3), 221-247.

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Coleman, M., & Ganong, L.H. (1997). Stepfamilies from the stepfamily’s perspective. Marriage & Family Review 26(1-2), 107-121.

Fine, M.A., Coleman, M., & Ganong, L.H. (1998). Consistency in perceptions of the step-parent role among step-parents, parents and stepchildren. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 15(6), 810-828.

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Furstenberg, Jr., F.F. (1988). Child care after divorce and remarriage. In E.M. Hetherington & J.D. Arasteh (Eds.), Impact of divorce, single parenting, and stepparenting on children. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

Ganong, L.H., Coleman, M., & Jamison, T. (2011). Patterns of stepchild – stepparent relationship development. Journal of Marriage and Family 73(2), 396-413.

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Hetherington, E.M. (1993). An overview of the Virginia longitudinal study of divorce and remarriage with a focus on early adolescence. Journal of Family Psychology 7(1), 39056.

Jackson, A.P., & Scheines, R. (2005). Single mothers’ self-efficacy, parenting in the home environment, and children’s development in a two-wave study. Social Work Research 29(1), 7-20.

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Kumar, K. (2017). The blended family life cycle. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 58(2), 110-125.

Livingston, G. (2014, December 22). Fewer than half of U.S. kids today live in a ‘traditional’ family. Pew Research Center. Retrieved from: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/12/22/less-than-half-of-u-s-kids-today-live-in-a-traditional-family/

Livingston, G. (2014, November 14). Four-in-ten couples are saying “I Do,” again: Growing number of adults have remarried. Pew Research Center. Retrieved from: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/11/14/four-in-ten-couples-are-saying-i-do-again/

Lucas, N., Nicholson, J.M., & Erban, B. (2013). Child mental health after parental separation: The impact of resident/nonresident parenting, parent mental health, conflict and socioeconomics. Journal of Family Studies 19(1), 53-69. DOI: 10.5172/jfs.2013.19.1.53

Maccoby, E.E., Buchanan, C.M., Mnookin, R.H., & Dornbush, S.M. (1993). Postdivorce roles of mothers and fathers in the lives of their children. Journal of Family Psychology 7(1), 24-38.

Papernow, P.L. (1993). Becoming a stepfamily: Patterns of development in remarried families. Cleveland, OH: Gestalt Press.

Papenow, P.L. (2017). Blended family. In J.L. Lebow et al. (Eds.), Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy. Cham, Switzerland: Springer.

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Twaite, J.A., Silitsky, D., & Luchow, A.K. (1988). Children of divorce: Adjustment, parental conflict, custody, remarriage, and recommendations for clinicians. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.

Weaver, S.E., & Coleman, M. (2010). Caught in the middle: Mothers in stepfamilies. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 27(3), 305-326. DOI: 10.1177/0265407510361729