Michael Foley, a Catholic theologian and Professor of Patristics at Baylor University, delves into the art of dating. He discusses the evolution of dating norms post-sexual revolution, highlighting the confusion it has brought to modern relationships. Foley offers practical advice on navigating the complexities introduced by social media, emphasizing authentic connections. He redefines breakups as learning experiences and stresses the importance of honor in relationships, framing them as valuable journeys of discernment.
Dating is an art that requires learning and practice, emphasizing the importance of glorifying God through genuine connections.
Contemporary dating challenges arise from social media and pornography, complicating authentic relationships and altering traditional dynamics.
Deep dives
Dating as an Art
Dating is considered an art that requires learning and practice to be done well, ultimately giving glory to God. The speaker emphasizes that while every generation feels unique in their dating experiences, fundamental human attractions remain unchanged over time. He addresses how the sexual revolution of the 1960s significantly altered dating norms, leading to a loss of established rules and rituals that once guided interactions between men and women. Ironically, rather than achieving freedom, this shift has created confusion and paralysis regarding dating dynamics, as individuals struggle to navigate these uncharted waters.
Challenges of Modern Dating
The speaker discusses how contemporary dating is complicated by the influence of social media and the ubiquity of pornography. Social media fosters a false sense of self and constant performance, where individuals become trapped in presenting an idealized version of themselves. The easy access to pornography also poses a risk to relationships, as it can lead to addiction-like behaviors impacting real-life connections. These developments alter the dynamics of dating, creating additional hurdles for both men and women in forming authentic connections.
Approaching Relationships with Intention
Men and women can engage with each other in various ways—friendship, dating, and courtship—but the ultimate goal is to become better lovers, rooted in Christian values. Loving God should come first, as this relationship enhances the ability to love a partner genuinely without placing unrealistic expectations on them. A shift in mentality is encouraged, focusing on self-improvement and integrity before seeking a partner, which allows for healthier relationships. Breakups are recast not as failures but as part of the discernment process in dating, ultimately leading one toward a meaningful connection.
Michael Foley is a Catholic theologian, a Professor of Patristics at Baylor University, and the author of over 400 articles and seventeen books, including the Politically Incorrect Guide to Christianity, Drinking with the Saints, and Dining with the Saints. He can speak on a wide variety of topics touching upon Catholicism, culture, and liturgy.
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