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ManTalks Podcast

Eli Harwood - Raising Securely Attached Kids

Sep 2, 2024
Eli Harwood, known as the Attachment Nerd, is a licensed therapist and bestselling author with over 17 years of experience in parenting and attachment psychology. She shares insights on reflective functioning and its role in child development. Eli explains why treating kids like adults can be counterproductive and offers four tips to identify securely attached children. The conversation also highlights the importance of emotional presence for fostering discipline and self-esteem, alongside practical strategies for compassionate parenting.
49:53

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Quick takeaways

  • Reflective functioning enables parents to understand the underlying reasons for their child's behavior, fostering healthier interactions and emotional responses.
  • Children develop cognitive and emotional skills progressively, requiring parents to provide guidance and support tailored to their developmental stage.

Deep dives

Understanding Reflective Functioning

Reflective functioning refers to the ability of individuals, particularly parents, to contemplate the underlying reasons behind their child's behavior rather than just reacting to it. For example, when a child misbehaves, a parent with strong reflective functioning considers potential factors such as the child's mood, hunger, or their own parenting practices. This deep reflection allows parents to analyze their own emotional responses, leading to healthier interactions. Ultimately, a high capacity for reflective functioning means parents can remain calm and rational, enhancing their ability to understand and support their children effectively.

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