Depression can reveal an enduring core essence within oneself amidst the changing aspects of identity.
Depression can lead to a deeper appreciation for the fragility of life and a resilience within us.
Deep dives
The Profound Impact of Depression on the Sense of Self
Depression is a deeply isolating experience that challenges one's sense of self. Journalist and author Andrew Solomon, who has personally experienced depression, highlights the transformative nature of depression. Emerging from depression, he discovered a core essence within himself that remained unchanged, even as other aspects of his identity fell away. This essential part of himself, beyond imagination and control, gave him a sense of enduring existence that extended beyond his depression.
The Mystical Experience of Depression
Depression can lead to a profound shift in one's perception and understanding of the world. Solomon describes his experience of depression as initiating a personal mysticism. It gave him a deeper appreciation for the remarkable and fragile nature of human life, as well as an extraordinary resilience that exists within us. This awareness was not tied to any specific religious tradition, but rather a deep contemplation of the self and its connection to something transcendent.
Depression as an Illness of Loneliness
Depression is primarily an illness of loneliness and an inability to connect with oneself and others. Throughout the conversation, Solomon emphasizes the sense of isolation and internal chaos that often accompany depression. The loss of self during depression can lead one to question their identity and struggle to find a sense of stability. However, emerging from depression can bring forth newfound knowledge, empathy, humility, and a deeper appreciation for the range of emotions and the resilience of the human spirit.
The Role of Medication and the Fluidity of Identity
Solomon discusses the use of medication in treating depression and rejects the idea that it diminishes one's true self. He sees medication as a tool that helps individuals be whole, just as other forms of treatment and personal growth do. He views the notion of an unchanging, authentic self as artificial, recognizing that who we are is constantly evolving and influenced by various factors, including education, experiences, and chemical imbalances. Understanding and accepting this fluidity can aid in finding balance and achieving happiness.
This is the unedited conversation Krista had with Andrew Solomon in 2002, which is excerpted within our produced episode “The Soul in Depression.” That episode also includes the voices of Anita Barrows and Parker Palmer. Find the transcript for that show at onbeing.org.
