EP34 The Mother wound & challenging the inner critic with Marie Selleck
Oct 18, 2023
auto_awesome
Marie Selleck, a licensed therapist and mother wound coach, joins to discuss the profound effects of the mother wound. She highlights how emotional neglect shapes our inner critic and self-perception. The conversation delves into the complexities of forgiveness, emphasizing that it's not pre-required for healing. Marie outlines the importance of setting boundaries in parent-child dynamics and the need for self-awareness. She encourages reconnecting with one's body and emotions as a path to healing and suggests valuable resources for listeners to explore.
Emotional neglect profoundly impacts self-worth, causing individuals to internalize inadequacy and struggle with negative self-beliefs throughout life.
Breaking the cycle of toxic parenting involves awareness and self-acceptance, enabling healthier family dynamics and recognizing the potential for personal change.
Deep dives
The Impact of Emotional Neglect
Emotional neglect can significantly affect a person's self-worth and inner dialogue, often leading individuals to internalize feelings of inadequacy. Those who grow up with emotionally unavailable parents may believe they are unworthy of love, forming persistent negative narratives about themselves. Such feelings can be exacerbated by external factors, like becoming a parent, which often brings past emotional wounds to the forefront. The struggle is to identify these deep-seated beliefs and work towards healing, as many do not recognize the impact of their upbringing until they seek help.
Recognizing Manufactured vs. Natural Emotions
Individuals often grapple with distinguishing between manufactured emotions, which derive from negative self-beliefs, and natural emotions, which arise from genuine experiences. Manufactured feelings, such as guilt or shame, typically stem from internalized criticism and can overwhelm a person if not properly addressed. In contrast, natural emotions like sadness or anger can signal genuine injustices experienced in life and require acknowledgment and processing. Learning to validate one's own feelings is a critical step in the healing journey, allowing individuals to feel emotions without the burden of self-judgment.
The Struggle with Self-Trust
Building self-trust after experiencing emotional neglect can be an arduous process as individuals often grow up questioning their feelings and perceptions. The inability to trust oneself leads to a disconnection from bodily cues and intuition, resulting in heightened anxiety over decision-making. Encouraging self-awareness is essential; individuals need to learn to listen to their bodies and recognize their emotional needs. Acknowledging that it is safe to trust oneself and taking small steps toward self-acceptance can foster a healthier relationship with one's emotions.
Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Parenting
Breaking the cycle of toxic parenting requires awareness and effort, particularly when individuals reflect on their own upbringing while raising children. Many individuals fear replicating the harmful behaviors of their parents, leading them to overcompensate or swing to extremes in their parenting. It is vital for parents to balance nurturing their children while acknowledging their own struggles and imperfections. Understanding that healing is a continuous process can empower individuals to create healthier family dynamics while also recognizing the capacity for change within themselves.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Marie Selleck, a licensed therapist and mother wound coach, about the power of thoughts, the mother wound, challenging our inner critic and breaking the cycle with our own kids.