431: Margaret Paul on How to Love Without Losing Yourself

Dec 31, 2025

Ask episode

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

"Your feelings aren't the problem. They're the guidance."

What if the real reason relationships hurt so much isn't who you're with, but how you relate to yourself?

In this profound and eye-opening conversation, Dr. Margaret Paul, bestselling author and creator of Inner Bonding, joins Kute Blackson to dismantle some of the most common and damaging myths about love, relationships, self-worth, and responsibility.

This episode goes far beyond romantic relationships. It dives into the invisible emotional systems we carry into marriage, parenting, friendships, spirituality, and even our sense of purpose.

You'll discover why chemistry is often confused with love, why "being nice" can actually be self-betrayal, and how many of us unknowingly abandon ourselves; then, wonder why relationships feel exhausting, painful, or empty.

Timestamps

(00:02:30) - What a healthy relationship really is (getting love vs. sharing love)
(00:05:18) - Why we're attracted to the wrong people
(00:08:26) - Emotional responsibility in relationships
(00:11:56) - Self-care vs. true self-love
(00:14:59) - What the inner child actually is
(00:19:54) - How to work with anger, desire, and intense emotions
(00:28:49) - Perfectionism, control, and false beliefs
(00:37:29) - Relationship systems that sabotage love (pull,resist, compliance)
(00:40:35) - How self-betrayal affects health and vitality
(00:42:11) - Discovering if relationships heal after infidelity
(00:45:07) - "I did nothing wrong" and hidden dynamics
(00:46:32) - Why compliance is not love

Questions I Ask

What actually defines a healthy relationship?
Why do we keep choosing the same kind of partner even when it hurts?
If no one is responsible for our happiness, what is our responsibility to each other in love?
Can relationships truly recover from infidelity? And how?
How do parents raise emotionally healthy children without creating dependence?
Is compliance really a form of control?
What advice would you give your younger self if you could start again?

In This Episode, You'll Learn…

Why love alone isn't enough to make a relationship work
The difference between sharing love and needing it
Why chemistry can feel powerful and still be destructive
How self-abandonment silently sabotages intimacy
Why being "nice" and compliant kills desire
What emotional responsibility really means (and what it doesn't)
Whether trust can be rebuilt after betrayal
How learning to love yourself changes every relationship

Get in Touch:

Email me at kuteblackson@kuteblackson.com
Visit my website: www.kuteblackson.com

Resources with Kute Blackson:

Purpose Summit: www.purposesummit2026.com

Kute's Life changing Path to Abundance & Miracles : https://www.8levelsofgratitude.com

Free masterclass: Learn The Manifestation secret to Remove Mental Blocks & Invisible Barriers to Attract The Life of Abundance You Desire.
REGISTER NOW : https://www.manifestationmasterclassonline.com