In wrestling with life's challenges, recovery and self-care are paramount. Anne and Lau stress the importance of having that one person who understands, who can act as a sounding board without getting overly entangled in the emotion of the situation. The Bosses discuss the significance of discipline in the recovery process and the role of self-care, underlining the need to step back and reassess situations from a different perspective. Tune in to join us in this deep and insightful discussion as we share our personal experiences and offer valuable advice on how to effectively manage challenging times with a robust support system.
Transcript
0:00:01 - Intro
It's time to take your business to the next level, the boss level. These are the premier business owner strategies and successes being utilized by the industry's top talent today. Rock your business like a boss, a V-O boss. Now let's welcome your host, Anne Ganguzza.
0:00:20 - Anne
Hey, hey everyone, welcome to the V-O Boss podcast and the business superpower series. I'm your host, Anne Gangusa, and today I am so excited to bring back to the show Miss Lau Lapides. Hey, Lau Nice, to see you Excited to. I'm actually so happy to see you, la, because I have had a crappy week, I've had a bad week. Poor Anne, tell me about it, baby, I've got some cookies.
I have to talk about what we can do to help me recover. Oh so, wait a second, are you in recovery? I could be in recovery right now. I mean, meeting with you, la, it helps me. It helps me in my recovery from a bad week. I know, I think it's something to talk about because I mean, look, I'd love to have an amazing week like every day and amazing days every day, but gosh knows that's not always the case. It's not, I swear. Sometimes it happens like one right after the other and literally I'll tell you, I had to say goodbye to a client. That was number one. I was in the process of responding to a client and, gosh, I guess I waited a minute too long and they could not wait for me and I lost the job like in a split second.
And I was like, oh my gosh. And then I had technology problems. I had technology problems where literally a cable went bad, but before I figured out that it was the cable, I replaced an expensive part of my camera system and now I have a backup, which is good. So guess what? I bought another camera, but that's another story for another day. So I'm going to be upgrading my camera here, but until I forget out what that simple $9 cable problem was, I literally had every other problem on the planet, like I couldn't access my files. You know, my drives weren't spinning up. I had to cancel a student because I couldn't access their files. It's just been one of those weeks Lau and I'm sure you've had them yourself.
I'm sure you've had them yourself. But I thought maybe we could first of all talk about it and number one, to know that I can't be the only one who's had a bad week here and there and let's talk about how we can kind of get ourselves up out of that funk, because I was in a funk Lau.
0:02:36 - Lau
I was in a funk, 1970s funk. You're in the VOR. That's what you are. That's a voiceover recovery zone.
0:02:43 - Anne
There you go. That's what you are. I need recovery tips. You do.
0:02:48 - Lau
You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of athletes that are top athletes and they do a lot of commercial campaigns. Now on, choose that. Help you recover from those extreme physical wanting tasks if they're doing a marathon of a day.
0:03:03 - Anne
And I have those shoes, I do, I have recovery shoes. Yeah, and they're the best Recovery.
0:03:08 - Lau
VO what we need. A recovery VO SOS Process, process of some kind I need to pair recovery VO sneakers. There you go. You need an in-house recovery therapist in the booth.
0:03:23 - Anne
Well, I did purchase a new camera for this booth, and so I don't know if that was shopping to recover. We're not sure.
0:03:30 - Lau
Retail therapy. Retail therapy, I love it.
0:03:34 - Anne
That's exactly what it was. But yeah, I will tell you, mentally it was tough and it's interesting because I'm a fairly upbeat person and I think you are too. Sometimes, when things get to me, gosh, it's just in the back of my mind and it gnaws away at me and it affects my demeanor, it affects my performance. Gosh knows I can't come in here and really put my 100% into my auditions or into my gigs because I'm upset, I'm hurt, and that's the thing. It's probably not even that I'm, maybe I'm angry, but most of all I think for me, I take things so personally. Again, it's so hard not to in this business because it is part of our personal brand and so if something doesn't go right, if a client isn't happy or a client can't wait for me, I'm like, oh, you know, I take it to heart and I take it like, oh, they couldn't wait a minute for me, I should be worth that. And what happened?
0:04:30 - Lau
And I'm squilling what you're peeling right now. I totally get it.
0:04:34 - Anne
I empathize, I'm not sure I've heard that phrase before, but I like it.
0:04:42 - Lau
Well, adopt it. Okay, I'll start with tip one. Let's do our top tips on this because I think it is so real, so important and, as you're expressing right now, so heavy on us. When it happens, we can make light of it now because it's a little bit later, but when it's happening it feels very intense and you're a very emotional, caring and very due diligence kind of person, so you may take it harder. So here's my first tip.
My first tip is this take a step back and assess. If you can assess where you or myself, if I'm talking about myself where you are at literally in the moment that this is happening. Where am I at mentally? Is this the beginning of the day? The middle of the day? Am I tired? Is at the end of the day? Has it been a difficult week? Has it been a light week? Has this person pulled the rug out from under me before, or is this brand new?
And I like doing this kind of an assessment because it helps to intellectualize and analyze when I want to immediately emotionalize. So I want to move that emotion aside and I want to intellectualize it because my reaction to this is going to be very different and unique based on where I am coming from in this moment. So you're saying you had a really hard week. It was a tough week. If it wasn't if it was a fabulous week and everything went perfectly and you were joyful and it happened to you you may have reacted differently. You may have been coming from a different mindset. So my tip one is take a step back, objectify, check in with your mindset and really do a quick psychological checklist. Where am I at in this moment? Does my reaction fit the crime, so to speak? Is it accurate to the level of what I perceive was done to me? And sometimes we find it's not. Sometimes we're exaggerating, sometimes we're hyperbolic about our responses, sometimes we're creating and crafting things about it.
That actually aren't even there, based on where we're coming to the situation. So take a breath, take a step back and analyze where I am at as this is happening to me. That's my tip one.
0:06:58 - Anne
I love that. I think that's really a great tip, because what I did do to try to get myself out of the funk initially was okay, I saw red flags, and this was not a complete surprise to me, and so I tried to justify was there something that maybe I was not doing or communicating that contributed to this? And of course, I want to say, well, no, of course not Nothing. I actually couldn't figure out where there could have been something that would have gone astray, and so I actually went back and I really revisited all the steps and my interactions and I had seen red flags. And I also have to understand and I think it's important maybe for bosses to understand that you can't please everyone all the time. And that's a tough one for me because I'm that kind of person that really I strive to be liked. I like to be liked, and so if somebody has an issue or a problem, that translates to clients, and so if there is an issue with that, it really affects me personally and it makes me second guess things.
0:08:10 - Lau
It sounds like you had two tips right there, though. Yeah, it sounds like am I right that there were two that were together, it wasn't just one tip.
0:08:18 - Anne
Yes, it was yes, yes, which I love that.
0:08:22 - Lau
I think that's great. So what was the first one you gave?
0:08:24 - Anne
So the first one is just to really go back and, if this is an interaction with a client, go back and review the facts, review the emails and a lot of times we deal with clients through email and I really feel that that's hard sometimes to communicate via email and when there's emotions involved or misunderstandings and going back, reviewing the facts to make sure that there was something that you could have stopped or done differently, and then, once assessed, realize that, well, you cAnneot please everyone all the time, and that's a big realization for me.
That's a huge one for me.
0:09:01 - Lau
You cAnneot please everyone all the time, and the tip you also gave to was to trust your instinct.
So many of us are not listening to that inner voice of what the instinct is telling you and pushing you and you have to really pay attention because that instinct is really there for a reason. I'm going to add one more to this and I'm going to say as much as we like to like and we like to be liked and there is a professional likeability factor in sales and in relationships. There certainly is. I don't think the deal or the job relies on being liked. You don't want to be disliked, necessarily, but I don't think that you need to feel personally close to someone or feel like they understand you. It's really much more important that you're providing value to them.
And what they're needing and sometimes that feels that perceives as if they don't like me or they're not getting me or they're not whatever, when it's really. How are they processing their information? What are their takeaways and are they actually understanding what you're giving to them? I think a lot of this dislike, discommunication, is based on one party just not understanding the information that's given to them and misunderstanding it, and then it feels like they don't like you when it's really not that.
0:10:23 - Anne
I totally, totally agree with you there. I mean, especially in today's day and age, where, again, we are so bombarded with data and chaos and we communicate via text or email and it's so easy to misinterpret that, that's where I always like to get on the phone, talk to someone, and I really believe that a lot of our issues can be solved by just talking to one another and talking to your client. Sometimes that's not possible, whereas in the case of when the client, when I lost the job, I literally you snooze, you lose, kind of thing, and I snoozed for like a minute. I'm like whew, and literally I just lost the job. And they're like sorry, we had to give it to somebody else. And I'm like and then it became.
And then it became damn All right. So I want to make sure that next time I'm still on that roster, I'm still top of mind and I'm still there. So I quickly said, all right, snooze, you lose. All right, fine, I get that. He's a busy guy and we don't always know like our clients. They have deadlines, they have pressures, they have stresses, and I think we need to really understand that and not take that personally. And I was like, well, okay, he was under the gun, under pressure to get that job done. I wasn't there to reassure him or say, yes, I'm here, I can get that recording done. I literally responded to him a couple of minutes late and then afterwards he said sorry, I didn't hear back from you. And I said, okay, I wrote back. And I said, well, I'm really bummed and I hope that you'll continue to keep me at the top of your list for next time. And he wrote back. He said, oh yeah, no worries, you are, you are my top talent, you are my top talent roster. So I felt much better after that.
0:12:07 - Lau
I gotta tell you and you know my instinct says about that situation, I think honestly this would be a situation I can't prove it, of course, but I think it had nothing to do with you. I think, because of the timeframe you're giving me and how fast that happened, that they went either another direction really quickly, or the job went down, or they're not going to record it, or they had a date change. I honestly, in that amount of time, I don't think they have five other people lined up. I think that I feel that's what.
I was like I think it was a logistical thing that happened that he didn't want to get into. He just said oh, all for the best, it's okay, I'm all set.
0:12:41 - Anne
And I thought about that too. I'm glad you said that that's what it feels like. I did think about that too, and then I was like, well, that's okay, as long as I'm still top of mind for him and he's still good that he responded and said that. So, and you're right, that makes me think that, yeah, maybe there was something else that happened. I was like it literally happened so quickly and I was like, wow, I lost that and so, oh well.
0:13:03 - Lau
But isn't that the case? Isn't exactly that what we're talking about?
is that, of course, you felt bad because you wanted to please and you're on that campaign and you have a relationship. You don't want to let people down. I get that. But isn't that a perfect case to take a step back and say, hmm, that happened in 4.3 minutes, so chances are great it didn't probably have anything to do with me. And even if it did, it did. I mean, life happens, but chances are great. My logistical power is gonna tell me. Most likely it's not me. That would be a good place to take a step back and to kind of think in that way yeah Right, and it wasn't meant to be, and maybe it didn't happen. It wasn't meant to be, you're right, you're right, it wasn't meant to be.
0:13:45 - Anne
It happened.
And so recovery I have to tell you recovery from that one because I kind of snapped back and said, hmm, let me send him an email to make sure, right, that I'm still top of mind and that, so, sorry, maybe next time my bad and looking forward to the next campaign or whatnot.
And the fact that he wrote back and said, oh yeah, absolutely made me feel good and so that was helpful to recover. But again, going through like, okay, what could possibly have happened? And understanding that you don't know literally, and especially if obviously I can't get on the phone and say, hey, what's wrong with him right at this moment and we can't do that with all of our clients Some of them we can I think that for us, for recovery, I think it's important to communicate, and so that would be my biggest tip really is, when you are having those bad days and it has to do with clients or vendors or people that you're working with, I mean, really I would say, just go above and beyond to try to communicate your feelings and communicate especially in the business aspect of things, whether you're hurt or not.
0:14:52 - Lau
I do feel that communication is key and that's the next tip that you just gave and it reminded me. The first visual that came into my head is like the circus, or Cirque du Soleil God forbid someone falls or someone gets hurt, whatever, unless they die, god forbid or they're really, really hurt. Guess what the families teach in circus school since two years old Get up, go back right now, do not think about it, go and attack it. So what you're saying, which I truly believe in, is a discipline fall off the horse, do a quick email, do a quick text or whatever the relationship is, do a quick, even if it's a client. Let's say, a client is unhappy and you're either issuing a refund or you're issuing an apology, or whatever the case may be. Always follow up, don't get afraid, don't run away Like this is the boogeyman. You know what I mean. Like always come back in a day.
Or be angry and not yet, or be angry and start concocting a whole scenario, go back and say hey, you know that didn't work well, I think we fixed it. Let me give you something else that you may need. Let's do this again and I'm telling you nine times out of 10, people are pretty forgiving. People are pretty like oh yeah, right, that didn't work well, but all right, let's talk about the next thing.
0:16:12 - Anne
Yeah, absolutely, and I think if not, then you've got to just let it go. It's like one of those things. I mean, it can become toxic right For you if you're letting it bother you, letting it affect you, and it really can just become a toxic thing that can build up and you don't want that. That does not affect your performance or your business in a positive light, and so not, at all Not at all.
0:16:36 - Lau
I got one more for you. Yeah, okay, we always talk about in this society in general the idea of self care, taking care of yourself, I think, when you're in recovery which we're all in recovery just from daily work and stress.
0:16:53 - Anne
I'm glad you got that out.
0:16:54 - Lau
Yeah, if you build in a care for yourself, that is very specific. So, whether it's, you know, whatever it is a massage, going to the nail salon, going to the gym.
0:17:04 - Anne
I sat in the garden lot with the sun on my face, because the sun has not come out lately here in California and I was so happy, I just breathed, pet my kitties and just sat out there for a good half an hour and just took a break and you're right. I love the self care because you just got to let it go.
0:17:24 - Lau
And you need recovery time. So, like you and I have very heavy days at times.
0:17:29 - Anne
Yes.
0:17:29 - Lau
Sometimes it's going to a movie or having a latte, or taking a quiet walk or there's a gazillion things or climbing the mountain. Whatever you do, you must make time to do it, because not only is it for your mental health and your physical health, but you have to put things into perspective and the only way to do it is to step away from it. Yeah, you have to step away.
0:17:51 - Anne
Stepping away, I think, is very important and I have been guilty of kind of working myself into the ground during the pandemic. I mean it was wonderful for my business but for my health and my mental state it was too much. I've gotten to the point where I'm much better now at kind of stepping away for a little bit of time.
0:18:09 - Lau
Me too.
0:18:09 - Anne
Yeah, and taking those moments to just relax and appreciate, I find that I'm much more productive and I'm much better off when I do that. I've slipped into the pattern before. I've kind of been a workaholic all my life. I know these lessons and I should remember them but you know what. Every once in a while, we just need to have something kind of slap us in the face and say and wake up, you know wake up.
0:18:32 - Lau
It's also. It's in your makeup, though. I mean it's in your genetics, it's in your persona. It's not really a problem per se. It's just something you have to manage and be careful it doesn't take you over but it's what makes you great Also it's what makes you successful and happy. Also, right, I also want to mention too because you and I do this for each other and that's what makes us great new friends, and that is have a sounding board, have someone.
0:18:57 - Anne
You were my sounding board this week. You were diplomatic.
0:19:00 - Lau
They can be in the same business, they can be in the same space. But someone who's a little bit more neutralized, diplomatic, not someone who's going to get hot and heavy with toxicity, hot and heavy with anger with you. Agreed, you know, rev you up, get you angry. You don't want that. You want someone to bring you down and make you feel better. I know like when I always communicate, I just instantly feel better.
0:19:23 - Anne
Yeah. You know, I'm always like I have somebody that can empathize, not necessarily preach or get you riled up, or I just really believe that the sounding board, the whoever you have your support group, is really helpful and somebody that will understand and that, I think, is really great, because what is the first thing I did? Well, maybe it wasn't the first thing I did, but I definitely texted you and I'm like, oh my God, here's what happened.
0:19:47 - Lau
Yeah, and it's great and I love that because I feel like you trust me when you do that and I feel like I have to honor listening to that without getting overly involved with the emotion of it, because you come not just you, but anyone who's a friend comes because they want you to save them from that.
They want you to listen or offer a moment of advice. They don't want to get riled up and revved up. So I think that that's absolutely brilliant to have at least one person, if not more than you can do that with, and trust that they're not going to go say everything that you're saying to them to everyone else.
0:20:24 - Anne
Right, I'm telling all the bosses out there.
0:20:28 - Lau
You want trust. I have bad week, I have bad week. You want trust.
0:20:33 - Anne
That's right, that's right.
0:20:34 - Anne
But yeah, no, I think that recovery is important. I mean, this happens to all of us, it gets us, and I try so hard. I'm like, oh, you think I would be over it by now, but no, no no, no, no. Things still affect because I care.
0:20:46 - Lau
Things still affect.
0:20:48 - Anne
I think because we care so much about our jobs, we care about our businesses, we care about our voices and our clients and if you didn't care, it wouldn't affect you. We care.
0:20:58 - Lau
We do, we care a lot, and one thing you do really really well I try to do this too, and this is being a proactive business person is when those things go right or go wrong or whatever. One of the first things you and I do we have this in common is we go try to fix it elsewhere for future population, future clients. For instance, let's say someone misread something on the website or let's say something was by accident omitted from a contract, whatever, we immediately go in and we fix that Absolutely. We fix that the next person doesn't experience it and we don't have the same issue. That's something a lot of people don't do. They go through the hardship and recover, but they don't actually remedy the problem itself the problem.
0:21:43 - Anne
Yeah, absolutely Right, and we've done podcasts on this. Learning from our mistakes I mean, you know, mistakes are wonderful actually when you learn from them and then you can implement that remedy and try to make sure that it doesn't happen again and again. I think, opening up the lines of communication, self-care, having that sounding board, having somebody out there to support you, all of these things and really taking action and owning up. If there is something that can be remedied, own up to it and put those remedies in place, and that is going to be an essential part of recovery.
0:22:17 - Lau
Exactly. And one more to throw in there is to deal with the situation, even though it may be uncomfortable or make you upset. Go right to the person or people, deal with it and say what can I do to make the situation right? And sometimes there's a huge learning curve in that they say something that you never knew before or you didn't expect. That's not personality driven, it's not necessarily about you. It's about the practice, the process.
0:22:46 - Anne
Absolutely the product.
0:22:48 - Lau
Well, I'm not happy with this product. The demo doesn't represent me, it's okay. Okay, good to know. Can you point out one or two specifics that I could potentially fix? Well, I don't like the order. Can we fix that? Well, yeah, we can fix that. You see, like I can't read that mind. You can't read those minds.
0:23:07 - Anne
We're not mind readers.
0:23:08 - Lau
So the more communication now. Sometimes it does open up Pandora's box and you don't want to have an ongoing year after year with that. But you can tell if someone's reasonable. If someone is really reasonable and is relatively kind in nature, I like to try to fix the problem. If there is a problem, if it's a personality clash or they just don't like me, or whatever, it's not going to be fixed. It is what it is. Cut your losses and go yeah.
0:23:34 - Anne
Right, and if it is toxic, cut the toxicity out. That's it, and learn from it and don't be bitter. That's right. That's the thing Just like okay, I feel clear, I feel lifted, and then things can progress forward.
0:23:45 - Lau
I like to say don't get bitter, Get better. There you go so in recovery.
0:23:50 - Anne
don't get bitter, Get better.
0:23:53 - Lau
So I want more thank you of yourself a lot of time. Sometimes recovery doesn't happen in a day or two.
0:23:58 - Anne
Sometimes it needs a little bit longer, that is for sure, if it's a big loss.
0:24:02 - Lau
It's going to take longer.
0:24:03 - Anne
Yeah, and this didn't go away right away. I get frustrated with that. I know I'm that kind of person. Me too, I'm a happy person and so like if I'm not happy and I can't get happy, it's so frustrating to me, Like that to me is like well, I should be able to work myself out of this.
I expect so much right, this shouldn't bother me, and you know what. I have to allow it, I have to allow it to happen and I have to be okay with that and I have to give myself grace. No-transcript bosses out there while in recovery mode.
0:24:31 - Lau
Great conversation, great conversation and, by the way, your last tip of the day is it's not always based on bad things happening. You have great days and great work days that you're exhausted by and take a lot out of you and drain you.
0:24:44 - Anne
You need recovery from those amazing days too, sounds like some retail therapy, vo Retail Therapy. There we go, it's in order. Anyways, bosses, do you have a local nonprofit that's close to your heart? And if you've ever wanted to do more to help out, you can visit 100voiceshoocareorg to learn how. Thanks shout out to our sponsor, ipdtl. You, too, can network and connect like bosses. Find out more at IPDTLcom. Have an amazing week, guys. Have an amazing week and we'll see you next week. Mwah, see you next time. Bye, bosses.
0:25:20 - Outro
Join us next week for another edition of VO Boss with your host and Gangusa, and take your business to the next level. Sign up for our mailing list at vobosscom and receive exclusive content, industry revolutionizing tips and strategies and new ways to rock your business like a boss. Redistribution, with permission. Coast to coast connectivity via IPDTL Okay.
0:25:52 - Anne
Okay, let's try to get in a little more emphasis on this word. Just really pop that word, really pop that word. Okay, well, okay, maybe not that much. No, not that much. No, not that much.
0:26:05 - Anne
All right, let's try.
Transcribed by https://podium.page