On this weeks Page 7 Jackie is havin' SEXY CHRISTMAS in swishy ski suits and fake fur, Holden's having a true blue teenage sad boi Christmas and MJ is bringin' the Family Values! Whamageddon is explained, SantaCon NYC rips through the streets and leaves sorrow and pain in its path DESPITE MJ's claims, Mariah Carey celebrates her love of Jackie Zebrowski and (I guess) 1 BILLION streams of her song All I Want For Christmas Is You on Spotify by wearing a DIAMOND ENCRUSTED Prada bucket hat, Holden's simple request is overridden by Jackie, MJ had to explain 80's humor to the babies and Freddy improved Rockin' 'Round the Christmas Tree, Holden's still hold(en)ing strong that he didn't shit in the shower, and in Celeb Conspiracy Corner: Is Lorde Actually A Bird?!?, a seasonally appropriate list, shouts AND DON'T FORGET join Page 7 for the yearly watchalong (And specialty cocktail reveal!) of The Muppet Christmas Carol over on Holden's Twitch on Monday, December 18th at 5pm PST/8pm EST and MOOOORE!!!

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