Episode 407: How Men Can Become Better Lovers

6 snips

Jun 20, 2025

Join Caitlin V, a renowned sex and relationship coach with a massive online following, as she provides actionable tips for men to enhance their skills as lovers. Discover how to build sexual confidence, shift focus from performance to pleasure, and why changing your masturbation habits can lead to better partnered experiences. Caitlin also emphasizes the art of communication and understanding desires for deeper intimacy. Learn the importance of vulnerability in confidence-building and practical techniques to master the art of touch.

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INSIGHT

Sexual Confidence Defined

Sexual confidence is a grounded awareness of what you know and don't know, and your ability to work through it.
Confidence stems from having the tools, resources, and communication skills to create desired sexual experiences.

ADVICE

Build Sexual Confidence Stepwise

Assess your true starting point honestly, seeing if your confidence gap is real or from comparison.
Address physical, mental, emotional, communication, and energetic areas step-by-step to build genuine confidence.

INSIGHT

Performance Pressure and Man Box

Men face pressure to constantly prove masculinity through sex, leading to performance anxiety.
Sex is just one part of pleasure, yet men often pressure it to fulfill masculinity and emotional security.

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If you want to get better at sex, what do you need to know? In today’s show, we’re talking all about how men can become better lovers, including how to build sexual confidence, how to deal with performance pressure, as well as tips and tricks for improving your sexual technique.

My guest today is Caitlin V, a sex and relationship coach specializing in helping men overcome sexual difficulties. With over 150MM views on YouTube and nearly a million subscribers, she has become a leading voice in the field. Her TV show, Good Sex, is available for streaming now on Discovery+ and Max.

Some of the topics we explore include:

What are some things men can do to cultivate their sexual confidence?
How can men focus more on pleasure instead of getting fixated on performance?
How can changing up your masturbation routine help when it comes to having better partnered sex?
What are some ways you can get better at using your hands during sex?

You can check out Caitlin’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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I’m excited to announce a new online course I’m teaching on the topic of fantasies at the Kinsey Institute. Be sure to register for “The New Science of Sexual Fantasies” workshop, which will take place on July 19th, 2025.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.