Stoicism: Philosophy as a Way of Life Podcast

The Rescuer Trap: The Schema Trap featuring Dr. Jeff Perron

Nov 5, 2025
Dr. Jeff Perron, a clinical psychologist and author of 'Psychology of Happiness,' joins hosts Dr. Scott Waltman and Kasey Pierce to dissect the 'Rescuer Trap.' They explore how childhood schemas like Self-Sacrifice and Subjugation shape adult behaviors, leading to people-pleasing. Perron offers insights on setting boundaries, recognizing conflicting values, and nurturing an 'Inner Sage' to combat these patterns. Delving into approval-seeking and emotional inhibition, he emphasizes the necessity of healthy self-care while balancing altruistic values.
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ADVICE

Reframe Coping Behaviors As Learned Strategies

  • Notice when childhood-approved coping strategies (like people-pleasing) were useful then but harm you now.
  • Reframe those behaviors as learned strategies you can unlearn and replace with healthier choices.
ADVICE

Cultivate Your Inner Healthy Adult

  • Develop an inner 'healthy adult' or sage to guide choices when vulnerable modes arise.
  • Use imaginal dialogues (healthy adult talking to vulnerable child) to steer behavior toward values.
ADVICE

Set Boundaries To Preserve Altruism

  • If you recognize the self-sacrifice schema, practice setting small boundaries and tolerating the discomfort of not always saying yes.
  • Remind yourself that caring for yourself preserves your ability to help others long-term.
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