The hosts reflect on Christmas challenges and emotions. They discuss their emotional states and recommend their favorite movies, books, channels, and podcasts. They explore the word of the year 'Riz' and the pressure to find a 'thing'. The podcast also delves into drinking habits, finding relief in faith, and embracing the darkness and joy of Christmas. They discuss the significance of a crying baby and end with Merry Christmas wishes and music recommendations.
Finding a 'thing' isn't essential for a meaningful life; pressure on parents and children can be detrimental.
The pressure and scrutiny surrounding motherhood lead to stress and anxiety; finding meaning outside societal expectations is crucial.
Lament allows for an honest expression of sorrow and struggle, while still holding on to the hope of a happy ending in the Christian faith.
Deep dives
The Pressure of Finding Your Child's 'Thing'
Parents today feel an unrelenting pressure to find their child's identity marker, their capital T 'thing'. This pressure forces parents to find their child's passion, as it grants them and the parents a sense of purpose and reason for living. However, author Jordan Greasebeck reflects on the dangers of this pressure and the negative impact it can have on both parents and children. He shares his own experiences of being released from this pressure when his son was diagnosed with autism, and how it helped him realize that finding a 'thing' isn't necessarily essential for a meaningful life.
The Performative Nature of Motherhood
The expectations and scrutiny surrounding motherhood have skyrocketed in recent years, leading to increased stress and anxiety among mothers. Social media has amplified this performative aspect of motherhood, where every aspect of parenting is shared and judged. This pressure to present a perfect image of motherhood often leads to feelings of inadequacy and guilt. The article emphasizes the importance of finding meaning and fulfillment outside of societal expectations and finding solace in interpersonal relationships.
The Transformative Power of Lament
Author and theologian Christian Wyman explores the importance of lament in the Christian faith. He highlights the dual movement of Christianity, symbolized by the cross and the resurrection. While life is marked by tragedy and loss, there are also moments of grace and transcendence. Lament allows for an honest expression of sorrow and struggle, while still holding on to the hope of a happy ending. Wyman emphasizes the need for both lament and praise in the Christian journey.
The Pressure to Have a Defined 'Thing'
The podcast episode discusses the societal pressure to have a specific 'thing' that defines one's identity, particularly in terms of one's career or passion. The speakers highlight how this pressure can be overwhelming, especially for parents who want their children to find their 'thing' early on. They question the idea of a fixed 'thing' and suggest that it can change over time and that our identity is not solely determined by it. They emphasize the importance of allowing ourselves and our children to explore different interests and find fulfillment in life beyond a singular 'thing'. Overall, the episode challenges the notion that success and happiness depend on having a clearly defined 'thing'.
The Complex Narrative of Motherhood
The podcast delves into the complex portrayal of motherhood in contemporary society. It highlights the mixed messages and pressures faced by women, particularly those with higher education and financial resources. The speakers explore how cultural messaging often portrays motherhood as stressful and depleting, leading to dissatisfaction even among those who seemingly have supportive circumstances. The episode also touches on the dichotomy between portrayals of motherhood on social media and the reluctance to openly express joy and fulfillment in parenting due to fears of insensitivity or undermining feminist goals. It suggests the importance of honoring and embracing both the challenges and joys of motherhood, resisting the pressure to reject the vital work of nurturing others. Furthermore, it acknowledges the diverse experiences of motherhood across social classes and races, noting that portrayals of motherhood by women of color often present a more positive perspective. Ultimately, the episode advocates for an honest and nuanced understanding of motherhood, allowing for various perspectives and experiences.
In which RJ, Sarah, and Dave talk top words, millennial motherhoods, cancerous insights, and sad Christmases. Everyone also gives a few recs from the year gone by.
Click here to read about Mirieam-Webster's word of the year. Click here to read about Oxford's.
Click here to read Jordan Griesbeck's post on Mbird, "Thou Shalt Have a Thing."
Click here to read Rachel Cohen's essay for Vox, “How Millennials Learned to Dread Motherhood.”
Click here to read Josh Jeter's interview with Christian Wiman on Christianity Today.
Click here to read Sarah's article, "Put the Sad Back in Christmas."
The closing song is "Medium Christmas" by Caroline Fowler and is included with permission.
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