Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

2673: Happiness at the Misfortune of Mate Rivals by Dr. Lisa Hoplock with Luvze on Insecurity and Social Comparison

Jul 27, 2025
Explore the intriguing emotion of schadenfreude, particularly when it comes to friends viewed as romantic rivals. Discover how this satisfaction at others' misfortunes often points to underlying insecurities. Research reveals that we tend to feel greater joy when same-gender friends face setbacks compared to those of the opposite gender. Despite these feelings, participants did not necessarily see themselves as having a higher mate value. Reflect on what these reactions could indicate about our social comparisons and emotional dynamics.
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INSIGHT

Schadenfreude Targets Mate Rivals

  • Schadenfreude is more common toward same-gender friends than opposite-gender friends because of mate competition.
  • Men and women experience schadenfreude triggered by different misfortunes reflecting mate value cues.
INSIGHT

Gender Differences in Schadenfreude

  • Men feel schadenfreude when male friends lose social status; women feel it when female friends lose attractiveness.
  • These responses align with evolutionary preferences for mate value indicators in opposite genders.
INSIGHT

Misfortune Doesn’t Boost Self-Value

  • People feel some schadenfreude imagining an envied friend's misfortune but don’t rate their own mate value higher.
  • Misfortune to rivals may not boost self-perceived mate value as previously thought.
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