What it's like to be a Black woman with bipolar disorder
Feb 7, 2024
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Naomi Jackson, a person with lived experience of bipolar disorder, shares her journey and discusses the challenges of discerning fears from racism and symptoms of the disorder. The episode explores the impact of mental illness on the narrator's family, their personal struggles, and the fear of encounters with the police as a mentally ill black person.
Bipolar disorder can challenge assumptions about oneself and transform the way one navigates the world.
Deciphering rational fears from paranoid thoughts is a challenge faced by Black women with bipolar disorder.
Deep dives
Living with Bipolar Disorder
The podcast episode shares the personal experience of author Naomi Jackson, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2018. She discusses the profound impact the diagnosis had on her life, challenging her assumptions about herself and transforming the way she navigated the world. Jackson opens up about the intense shifts in mood characteristic of bipolar disorder, from periods of mania to episodes of depression, and the lifelong nature of the condition. She also explores the intersection of mental illness and race, reflecting on the challenges of deciphering rational fears from paranoid thoughts, especially as a Black woman. Jackson highlights the pressure to present a professional self, even while experiencing a personal unraveling, as a means of self-protection against racism and stigma.
Family History and Mental Illness
The episode delves into the intergenerational aspect of mental illness within Jackson's family. She shares the experiences of her maternal grandmother and mother, both of whom also had severe mental health conditions. Jackson reflects on how her family's history influenced her own journey with bipolar disorder and the guilt she carries for telling the truth about custody during a court proceeding, which resulted in her mother losing custody of her and her sister. The episode touches on the complexities of navigating relationships and understanding the impact of mental illness within a family dynamic.
Finding Hope and Reclaiming Identity
Jackson's story encompasses the process of finding hope and reclaiming her identity amidst her battle with bipolar disorder. She acknowledges the challenges of living with a chronic condition and the uncertainty of future relapses. The episode highlights the significance of support systems, including therapy, meaningful work, and healthier relationships, in Jackson's recovery. She emphasizes the importance of rest, self-care, and writing, finding solace and purpose in her creative expression. Despite the fear of potential relapses, Jackson remains determined to share her experiences and raise awareness about mental illness and disability, particularly for the well-being of her young child and other marginalized individuals.
"Three springs ago, I lost the better part of my mind," Naomi Jackson wrote in an essay for Harper's Magazine. On this episode, Jackson shares her experience with biopolar disorder. She talks about how she's had to decipher what fears stem from her illness and which are backed by the history of racism.