Healthy Parenting Handbook with Katie Kimball

034: What Middle Schoolers Need to Thrive with Counselor Phyllis Fagell

Aug 13, 2024

Phyllis Fagell, a counselor specializing in middle school development, shares insightful strategies for parents navigating the tricky terrain of adolescence. She highlights the emotional complexities middle schoolers face, including body image and social pressures. Fagell discusses the impact of fostering independence through responsibilities like cooking, which builds confidence. She emphasizes the importance of open communication and decision-making skills to help kids thrive amidst peer challenges. A humorous baking mishap illustrates the valuable lessons learned through risk-taking.

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Intro

00:00 • 2min

Navigating Middle School Challenges

01:52 • 18min

Empowering Middle Schoolers through Responsibility

20:15 • 3min

Embracing Risk in Middle School

23:31 • 6min

Inoculating Young Minds Against Poor Choices

29:30 • 2min

Navigating Middle School Social Dynamics

31:25 • 12min

Navigating the Intricacies of Middle School Parenting

43:33 • 2min

I learned today that I still have a lot of internal tendencies from middle school. 😮

Middle school can be a foreign land and a tumultuous time, and figuring out how to parent middle schoolers is hard on parents. We want our kids to be happy, resilient, and thriving, not wilting, crying, and worrying.

As we head back to school, stresses are always high, and our kids need us to help them stay balanced and continue growing and developing. Middle school is particularly tough, but it turns out it’s very navigable with the right perspective.

Whether you have a tween in middle school now or a child who will someday be there, these parenting tools are incredible, insightful, and some will take some time to practice. Start early by parenting your tween when they’re about 5!

You’ll learn:

Why middle schoolers are SO different from other age groups
The many crises of pre-adolescence and WHY they all pile up at once
The shocking difference between girls’ and boys’ confidence and interaction with the world in middle school
Simple stories parents can tell to improve mental well-being for their kids
The bane of the “imaginary audience,” particularly for girls
A game you can play to help reframe tween drama (and tone down its deleterious effects)
How to gradually release responsibility to your pre-teen (and the disastrous impact if you ever take it back!)
The 2 best ways to start every conversation with a tween (or teen)
Why learning to cook can help kids try new things at school too
Why it’s nearly impossible to teach a middle schooler to “be yourself” (this one kind of breaks my heart)
One practical way to help your kids choose the right friends (this is seriously gold because we all know how powerful friends are in how our kids turn out!!)
A resilience coping tool that I used the very day I recorded this interview so I wouldn’t forget how to do it…

Resources We Mention for Parenting Middle Schoolers

Get Phyllis’ books: Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers
How beneficial risk is necessary for raising confident kids
How to build authentic confidence in kids
Follow Phyllis on X, Facebook, and Instagram
Phyllis’ website
My second interview with Phyllis

Kitchen Stewardship
Kids Cook Real Food
follow Katie on Instagram or Facebook
Subscribe to the newsletter to get weekly updates
YouTube shorts channel for HPH
Find the Healthy Parenting Handbook at kidscookrealfood.com/podcast

Affiliate links used here. Thanks for supporting the Healthy Parenting Handbook!