Is It Ever Okay to Use Force with a Resistant Toddler?
Nov 15, 2018
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The podcast discusses a dad's guilt over using gentle force to brush his toddler's teeth. It explores alternatives to handling resistance with toddlers, emphasizing sensitivity, firm boundaries, and emotional validation. The episode highlights strategies for managing challenging situations with toddlers while maintaining a positive parent-child relationship.
14:18
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Quick takeaways
Prioritize the parent-child relationship over tasks like teeth brushing, embracing children's emotions.
Employ 'loving insistence' for necessary activities, balancing physical guidance with acknowledgment of children's feelings.
Deep dives
Parent's Gentle Restraint for Brushing Teeth
A parent shares a situation where their three-year-old refused teeth brushing leading to a restrained brushing approach, causing guilt. Janet Lansbury discusses setting hard boundaries for caregiving activities, advising a light, communicative approach with children's feelings in mind. She emphasizes prioritizing the parent-child relationship over momentary tasks and ensuring activities like teeth brushing remain positive experiences.
Handling Resistance with Loving Insistence
Janet introduces the concept of 'loving insistence' for addressing challenging situations with children, advocating for physically insisting on necessary activities while acknowledging and welcoming a child's accompanying emotions. She stresses the importance of prioritizing connection and understanding children's feelings during moments of resistance, suggesting a gentle yet firm approach to establish boundaries and navigate challenging behaviors.
Reflecting on Overstimulation and Adjusting Responses
Janet highlights the impact of overstimulation on a child's ability to engage in routine tasks, encouraging parents to recognize and adjust their responses accordingly. She underscores the significance of fostering a supportive environment where children's emotions are validated, especially in unfamiliar or intense settings. Janet commends the parent's reflective nature and advises adapting routines to align with children's needs while maintaining a nurturing and understanding parental approach.
Janet responds to a dad who’s feeling guilty for restraining his 3-year old daughter and forcibly brushing her teeth when she refused to do so herself. “I didn’t use hurtful force,” he writes, “but her protestations were so strong that I felt as if I was crossing a boundary.” This dad is wondering if there was another way he might have handled the situation.
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio, FREE with a 30-day trial membership at Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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