Dharmapunx NYC Obsession, Fixation and Infatuation. When Our Thoughts Revolve Around One Person.
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Jul 30, 2026 A talk about how rumination reorganizes life around an unavailable person and impairs functioning. Exploration of how brains build predictive models and resist updating them. Discussion of attachment history, repetition compulsion, and craving as distraction. Practical approaches include limiting contact, community support, CBT-style evidence checks, mindfulness of feelings, and contemplative practices.
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Brains Run On Predictive Models
- Brains don't perceive raw reality; they build predictive models from sparse sensory signals to act quickly and conserve energy.
- Korda explains models let us navigate familiar rooms without re-creating every detail each time.
Brains Prefer Restoring Models To Updating
- Predictive surprise forces costly model updates, so brains often restore the world to fit old models instead of changing them.
- Korda uses cleaning a messy kitchen as a metaphor for restoring expected models rather than rebuilding them.
Denial Keeps Us In Comfortable Fantasies
- Denial and fantasy preserve comforting models after loss, causing people to search for reconciliation instead of accepting reality.
- Korda links this to the brain's aversion to uncertainty and the metabolic cost of building new models.