Episode 429: Can Kink Help Us Live Happier Lives?

Sep 5, 2025

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BDSM practitioners have mastered skills that many of us struggle with every day, including honest communication, clear boundaries, deep trust, and the courage to be vulnerable. In this episode, we’re exploring what we can learn from kinky folks about leading happier lives, both in and out of the bedroom.

I am joined once again by Alicia Walker and Arielle Kuperberg. Alicia is an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University and the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife as well as Chasing Masculinity: Men, Validation, and Infidelity. Arielle is an associate professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Together, they are co-authors of the new book Bound by BDSM: Unexpected Lessons for Building a Happier Life.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

How does BDSM offer a way for people to explore their creative side?
What can we learn from BDSM practitioners about vulnerability and intimacy?
How can BDSM allow us to explore pleasure beyond traditional sexual scripts?
What can we learn from kinky folks about having realistic expectations in the bedroom?

You can click here to order Alicia and Arielle’s new book.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.