Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

When Love Feels Unbearable (Anne Lamott)

Apr 11, 2024

Bestselling author Anne Lamott discusses giving from a place of abundance, healing codependency, and the transformative power of enduring love. The podcast explores vulnerability, acts of kindness without expectations, and the importance of genuine connections in overcoming fear and insecurity.

45:41

Episode guests

Anne Lamott

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Giving from a place of abundance and gratitude is essential for enduring the challenges of love

Promoting radical self-love and forgiveness can lead to personal growth and healing

Deep dives

Understanding Love and Sacrifice

The podcast delves into the concept of love and sacrifice, highlighting the paradoxes inherent in these emotions. It explores the duality of giving and receiving love, emphasizing the importance of giving from a place of abundance and gratitude. The speaker reflects on the challenges of accepting love and the need to learn how to endure the beams of love, acknowledging the struggles of vulnerability and self-acceptance. Additionally, the episode discusses the value of sacrifice in relationships, breaking free from transactional views of love and embracing sacrificial acts of generosity and connection.

Intro

3min

Exploring the Complexities of Love

8min

Acts of Kindness and Love Without Expectations

4min

Revisiting Love: Beyond Transactional Understanding

5min

Navigating Self-Esteem, Forgiveness, and Self-Love

6min

Reflections on Life, Goodness, and Surrender

10min

Exploring Healing, Abundance, and Self-Discovery

4min

Navigating Love and Self-Care through the Three A's

4min

Exploring the Transformative Power of Enduring Love

5min

“You want to find yourself? Give. We're not hungry for what we're not getting. We're hungry for what we're not giving. And then at the same time, you watch this old pattern of guarding what you have and of watching your mother take the leftovers and your mother taking leftover food and taking the piece of cake that broke in half while it was being served and taking the lesser car and taking whatever time is left for her to get her needs met. And so, you know, all truth is a paradox. And that's really what I believe is that I really, really give, but because I'm healing the codependence, I'm healing the self doubt, I'm giving from a place that is abundant because I live in gratitude. I notice how much I have been poured into, crazy love from a number of different directions. And I give that away. I don't give from my place of deprivation.”

So says Anne Lamott, the eternally wise, prescient, and deeply human writer so many of us wish we could call in times of need. Anne is the author of 20 books—yes 20—including the New York Times bestsellers, Help, Thanks, Wow; Dusk, Night, Dawn; Traveling Mercies; and Bird by Bird, which is essential reading for every writer. I refer to and cite her advice all the time. Anne is also a Guggenheim Fellow. Her latest book—and the subject of today’s conversation is Somehow: Thoughts on Love that revolves around the William Blake line: We are here to learn to endure the beams of love—and how hard this is.

MORE FROM ANNE LAMOTT:

Somehow: Thoughts on Love

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

Dusk, Night, Dawn: On Revival & Courage

Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers

Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith

Follow Anne on Instagram

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