16 - DATING - Zayn & Gigi - the psychology of “out of bounds behaviour” and why we keep it quiet

In this OPEN(HEART) episode of the OPENHOUSE Podcast, we take a look at the recent news of Zayn Malik & Gigi Hadid and their break up that very few saw coming.

We discuss all things tumultuous relationships, why we keep them a secret and what to do if you find yourself in this situation - whether you are dating someone, in a relationship with them, or feel like it’s not possible to leave.

We dive into out of bounds behaviour, the cycle of bad behaviour, whether a leopard can actually change their spots and also take you through lots of actionable tips and tricks and communication soundbytes on how to move forward out of these situations if you are experiencing them yourself.

We recap on unconscious attraction and Louise shares her own personal experiences with an ex-boyfriend who re-appeared and certainly did not change his spots. She also shares her experiences of red flags, when she should have walked away and didn’t - as well as her more recent experience of working with a subconscious therapist which has taught her that children really do pick up what is going on with parents.

Louise Rumball & Dr Tari Mack also go deeper into:

⇢ Behaviours that are out of bounds and how these can be normalised / unrecognisable by us if we’ve witnessed them in relationships around us growing up;

⇢ Why it’s hard for people to change unless they are fully dedicated to it; and

⇢ How DENIAL / EMBARRASSMENT / SHAME leads us to silence these out of bound behaviours and what to do when we find that we’re doing that.

Louise also shares her own personal dating stories, particularly:

⇢ An ex-boyfriend who reappeared last week;

⇢ Seeing red flags early on but only recognising them with hindsight; and

⇢ Experience of working with a subconscious therapist - looking at the environment in which she was conceived.

And, finally, they discuss all things having a temper - how to regulate it, how to work on it, and how to take responsibility for it.

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