Quality versus quantity: why presence matters

Do you ever feel like you are doing everything “right,” and your kid still seems anxious, dysregulated, or shut down? This conversation made me rethink what we have been told about parenting, work, and what kids actually need to feel safe.

In this episode of Habits & Hustle, I sit down with psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert Erica Komisar to break down what kids actually need to build emotional resilience, why “quality time” alone isn’t enough, and how parental presence shapes brain development, stress tolerance, and long-term mental health.

We talk about how stress shows up as fighting, avoidance, and attention issues, why transitions like mornings and after school are when kids need you most, and how overscheduling can become a quiet form of avoidance. She also explains why social media is a pressure amplifier, not the root cause, and what it takes to build real resilience before life gets hard.

Erica Komisar, LCSW, is a psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert with nearly four decades of clinical experience. She is the author of Being There and Chicken Little, the Sky Isn’t Falling.

What We Discuss:

(00:00) Why Kids Are Struggling More Than Ever

(08:42) The Myth Of “Quality Time”

(18:15) What Early Brain Development Actually Needs

(29:40) Why Overscheduling And Helicopter Parenting Backfire

(41:10) The Real Roots Of Anxiety And ADHD

(53:05) Why Social Media Isn’t The Original Problem

(01:05:30) What Adolescents Need From Parents

(01:18:50) The Hard Truth About Work, Parenting, And Priorities

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Find more from Jen:

Website: www.jennifercohen.com

Instagram: @therealjencohen

Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books

Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement

Find more from Erica Komisar:

Website: www.ericaKomisar.com

Instagram: @ericaKomisar
Books: The Parents' Guide to Divorce