How to teach children that struggle matters

Episode 144: Paul Tough - How To Develop An Intrinsically Motivated Child

Paul Tough is the author, most recently, of Helping Children Succeed: What Works and Why. His previous book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character, was translated into 27 languages and spent more than a year on the New York Times hardcover and paperback best-seller lists. His first book, Whatever It Takes: Geoffrey Canada's Quest to Change Harlem and America, was published in 2008.

Paul is a contributing writer to the New York Times Magazine, where he has written extensively about education, parenting, poverty, and politics. His writing has also appeared in the New Yorker, the Atlantic, GQ, and Esquire, and on the op-ed page of the New York Times.

He has worked as an editor at the New York Times Magazine and Harper's Magazine and as a reporter and producer for the public-radio program "This American Life." He was the founding editor of Open Letters, an online magazine.

Episode 144: Paul Tough - How To Develop An Intrinsically Motivated Child

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The Learning Leader Show

"Our Goal Is To Help Our Children Be Independent."

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• Having a growth mindset leads (not just about skills) to sustained excellence
• Realize that failure will happen... You won't sustain excellence 100% of the time
• How has parenting changed over the last 20 years
• Read "Our Kids" by Robert Putnam
• Parents are more educated = They have more anxiety about their kids
• Parents are more intrusive -- They think everything has to be exactly right -- It puts pressure on children
• Kids need to continue doing basic responsibilities (mow the lawn, wash dishes, etc...)
• Creating a system around incentives is bad
• How do you develop a child to be intrinsically motivated?
• Keep praise for success overcoming difficult moments, not just getting straight A's
• Helping children develop GRIT - How to do it
• The importance of having a coach -- And placing a high value on a great coach
• Understand the messages we send about success and failure
• The value of having a winner and a loser in athletic competitions

"Hearing the word NO is one of the biggest gifts a child can receive."

Continue Learning:

• Read: Helping Children Succeed
• Go To: PaulTough.com
• Follow Paul on Twitter: @paultough
• To Follow Me on Twitter: @RyanHawk12

You may also like these episodes:

Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon

Episode 080: Ryan Estis - From Rock Star Sales Professional To World Class Speaker & Entrepreneur

Episode 086: Seth Godin – How To Become Indispensable & Build Your Tribe

Episode 107: Simon Sinek – Leadership: It Starts With Why

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If you enjoyed hearing Paul Tough on the show, please don't hesitate to send me a note on Twitter or email me.

Episode edited by the great J Scott Donnell

Bio From PaulTough.com

Paul Tough is the author, most recently, of Helping Children Succeed: What Works and Why. His previous book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character, was translated into 27 languages and spent more than a year on the New York Times hardcover and paperback best-seller lists. His first book, Whatever It Takes: Geoffrey Canada's Quest to Change Harlem and America, was published in 2008.

Paul is a contributing writer to the New York Times Magazine, where he has written extensively about education, parenting, poverty, and politics. His writing has also appeared in the New Yorker, the Atlantic, GQ, and Esquire, and on the op-ed page of the New York Times.

He has worked as an editor at the New York Times Magazine and Harper's Magazine and as a reporter and producer for the public-radio program "This American Life." He was the founding editor of Open Letters, an online magazine.