Is Your Partner Sabotaging Your Relationship?

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When i feel the best about my relationship, and this is also true for many friendships too, is when i think about it less as a thing that i have or that i'm giving to them. I like, oh, we're putting in the work to build this thing. And that that thing is almost a third entity, right? It's me, you and the relationship. So what can people who are recovering self savateurs, or currently in this if they're noticing, i kind of do this, i'm doing this in my relationship right now, what can they do? There are three tips. What are they? First thing i would ask them to do is to identify the

Does it ever feel like you—or someone you know—is always entering a relationship that’s doomed? According to psychology researcher, Dr. Raquel Peel, you may be falling victim to a surprising foe—yourself. Raquel studies “romantic self-sabotage,” the patterns and behaviors that can keep a person from having successful relationships, or justify their failures. In this episode, she outlines common destructive habits to watch out for, and gives guidance on how to recover if you spiral into sabotage. Raquel is a Psychology and Counselling Lecturer at the University of Southern Queensland. Her research interests include relationships, suicide, bullying, stigma, medical education and research methodology. Originally from Brazil, Raquel currently lives in Brisbane, Australia, with her husband Matthew, their two cats Tigre and Patera, Miniature Pinscher, Lobinha, and Doberman, Urso. To learn more about "How to Be a Better Human," host Chris Duffy, or find footnotes and additional resources, please visit: go.ted.com/betterhuman