How to Discuss Fantasies Safely

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Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and an internationally recognized sex educator. He conducts research on sexual fantasies, casual sex, and sexual health and has published a sexuality textbook that is used in college classrooms around the world. In addition, he runs a popular blog, Sex and Psychology, and has been published in Playboy, VICE, USA Today, Politico, Men's Health, and New York Magazine. He is the author of Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.

In this episode, we focus on Tell Me What You Want. We discuss what a sexual fantasy is, what a paraphilia is, and what the most common sexual fantasies are. We talk about what influences them, including the influence of pornography. We discuss differences between men and women, and differences between democrats and republicans. We also discuss who people fantasize about, whether all sexual fantasies are “normal”, what happens when people share their sexual fantasies with their partners, and whether people act on their sexual fantasies. Finally, we talk about when people need to manage their sexual desires, and how many sexual partners most people have had.

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