We have a bias for how we want to experience our love, and the ego thrashes against receiving it. The greatest trick of the demon or the devil is to project that aspect onto god, so that we end up worshipping the devil, calling it god. We can't do it if you're not loving yourself. So what we have to do is love our judgment while we have our judgment.
One of my best podcasts of all time, this emotional conversation that’s been 16 years in the making, is with my wife Vylana Marcus and former fiance / best friend Caitlyn Howe. We sit down with a bottle of whiskey and let it all out. We each take turns sharing our darkest hours and deepest shadows, with a lot of tears and a lot of laughs. We discuss my devastating 6 days in a darkness retreat, my ongoing relationship with self-love, the impetus of my name change from Chris to Aubrey Marcus, and the erotic aspect of harming oneself, to name a few themes. But perhaps most powerfully, Vylana and Caitlyn share their own shocking and emotional challenges in their relationship to the masculine.