The Importance of Being Nice in a Negotiation

When you manage people, they ask you for things: to extend a deadline, to make an exception, to give them a raise or more resources. Maybe they don’t even have to ask; you notice the need and start thinking about how to meet it. As successful as women tend to be at advocating on behalf of others, knowing which approaches research shows are most effective will only strengthen your case.

Negotiations professor Martha Jeong explains the mindset, framing, timing, and tone that enable us to attain the money, help, and opportunities that keep our direct reports happy and in top form. She also explains how to set expectations with them to prevent you from feeling too much pressure to attain exactly what they asked for, and too guilty when you can’t.

Guest expert:

Martha Jeong is a management professor at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology.

Resources:

• “Emotion and the Art of Negotiation,” by Alison Wood Brooks
• “The Essentials: Negotiating Strategically,” by Women at Work
• Next-Level Negotiating (HBR Women at Work Series), by Harvard Business Review
• “Negotiating Gender Roles,” by Emily Amanatullah and Michael Morris
• “Constraints and Triggers,” by Hannah Riley Bowles et al.
• “Communicating with Warmth in Distributive Negotiations Is Surprisingly Counterproductive,” by Martha Jeong et al.
• “A Meta-Analysis on Gender Differences in Negotiation Outcomes and Their Moderators,” by Jens Mazei et al.

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